Stay focused
by Paperball
Summary: A Naomily FanFic. This is the follow up story to "The memories that were". But you can definitely read it without having to read the first story, nothing significant will happen that you won't understand. ["But I saw... I saw that there was something that she was hiding. Whatever it was it scared me to the core."]
1. Chapter 1 - Peaceful

**Stay focused**

This is the follow up to "**The memories that were**". It's about when Naomi and Emily travel to Goa. Something will happen that puts these girls relationship on ice. Please read and review.

**Rating:** M

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**Chapter one**

Emily

_'Fuck!'_

I slowly opened my eyes but I couldn't see anything. It was warm and stuffy which made it hard to breath. It was dark and my eyes didn't want to adjust to the low lighting. I shook my head and yawned. Suddenly I felt a terrible pain in my ears and then the deafening sound of engines made my head hurt.

I looked over to my left at my girlfriend whom slept by the small window. She slept with her mouth open as she used to, her blonde hair in a sweet mess. She slept, which I also wanted to. But the warm and stuffy air made it too hard to sleep, and now, when I had my full hearing back, the noise made it impossible to fall back asleep. I felt my neck getting warm and sticky. I looked back and saw a flight attendant walk at my direction.

"Excuse me. Why is it so stuffy in here?" I asked whispering to the passing flight attendant.

"I'm so sorry the air condition is not functioning the way it should. We are trying to fix it… Can I get you some water?" she looked at me with a concerned look on her face.

I just shook my head and leaned back in my seat. I looked at my wristwatch and noticed that it was almost three hour left before landing. I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep.

Something touched me and I twitched and opened my eyes to face a shocked Naomi. She had poked me in my arm.

"I'm sorry… did I wake you up?" she asked and lay her head on my shoulder.

"No… I didn't sleep. It's too hot."

"Sorry about that." She said a bit full of herself.

I heard her sarcasm and I could feel her smiling so I hit her light over her head.

"Ouch!" she whispered.

"The air-conditioner is broke…"

"I know I heard when you asked the flight attendant."

"How long have you been awake?" I asked.

"Dunno… a while."

She snuggled up close to me. Well, as close as she could with an armrest between us. She took my hand and I could feel her examine my hand by touching my fingers and gently touching my palm. She kissed my hand and took it in hers. _'Is it possible to love someone more every second?' _

"We are on the way now." She whispered against my palm.

"Yeah, we are."

I felt how my eyelids were about to close. I wanted to fall asleep, but I could hardly breathe because of the bad air. I felt the sweat on my forehead, and having Naomi half leaning on me didn't make it better. But she looked so sweet where she lay so I hadn't the heart to move.

"I'm gonna sleep now. When are we landing?" She asked and tried to turn my arm so she could look at the clock.

"Stop that. You are totally fuckin twisting my arm off." I twisted my arm back to a comfortable position. "We land in about three hours."

"We've got to get you a wristwatch of your own." I added.

"Why? I have a phone you know."

"Yeah, but you can't use the phone on an airplane."

"Well, good night then." Naomi said and snuggled up beside me.

"Sorry. We're about to land. You have to pull up your seatback."

I looked around in the light and crowded airplane. The air was cool, so they must have fixed the air conditioner. I looked at Naomi who sat up and looked out through the small airplane window. I straightened myself and pulled up the seatback. I felt nauseous because of the change of position.

"Look!" She exclaimed and pointed at the window.

I leaned over and looked out.

"It's beautiful."

"And sunny." She added and laughed. "I bet it's raining in England now."

"Well, honestly I don't care about that." I said and kissed her on the cheek as I leaned back in my seat.

When the airplane started to land I took Naomi's hand and squeezed it tight. I never liked to fly, especially not the landings. Not that I had been abroad that many times.

But it felt as if my guts were about to come up through my throat. I must have looked as if I were about to throw up because Naomi gave me a paper bag to vomit in. But nothing came thankfully. When we hit the ground I felt so thankful that we finally had reached Goa.

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Naomi

We didn't walk through those walkways now. Instead there was just a staircase out. The difference between the cool air in the airplane and the warm air outside was tremendous. It felt like being hit by a heat wave, a wall.

"Fucking hell!" I heard Emily behind me as she too walked out of the airplane.

She walked up beside me and I grabbed her hand. I looked at her as she tried to cool herself by dragging in her shirt. My thoughts instantly went underneath her shirt. I imagined Emily in a bikini... her lovely body.

I must have looked longingly at her because she met my gaze and made questioning face. "What?"

"Nothing." I said and quickly looked ahead of me.

As we got out of the airport we grabbed a taxi. Thankfully it was cool inside the cab.

"Where you go?" The man behind the wheel asked with an accent. He looked at Emily and me while and he used the seat beside him to push him around so that he could face us.

"This is fucking shit." I said and threw the suitcase on the double bed.

"Sorry babes, you know we can't afford something better if we want to stay long." Emily said and wrapped her arms around me.

"I know, but did you have to choose a hotel with smoke free rooms?" I kissed her. "Well, at least we have a double bed."

"Yeah… but…. Let's… pack up." Emily said between kisses.

"Sure." I kissed her again.

Emily pulled her red hair up in a ponytail and dived into our suitcase.

We packed up and made ourselves at home in the small flat. We had booked a small flat for this trip. But I had sort of planned for me and Emily to stay at a hotel for the last few days to lengthen our trip and surprise her a bit.

I felt in my pocket my pack of cigarettes. _'Fucking hell, I want one now so fucking badly!'_ I felt the craving to lit one. Emily sat by the desk and wrote on something. So I walked up to a window and sneakily dragged out a cigarette.

"Don't you dare to fucking lit that one." I heard Emily say from the desk.

I looked at her, and to my surprise she didn't look at me. How the heck did she know I what was doing then?

"I want one!" I complained like a kid.

"But I thought you quit after your accident. At least you didn't smoke at the hospital, right?"

"No of course I didn't, and it was a complete hell. Don't you want one?" I held out a cigarette.

"Not now, I'm writing a letter to Katie. Otherwise she will kill me."

"Don't be like that." I said and walked to her and hugged her from the back.

"Like what?" She turned to face me. She looked at me for a couple of seconds. Her gaze travelled towards my cigarette "Oh give me that!"

She grabbed the cigarette I held in my hand with her mouth. I just smiled and lit it for her.

"We should however open a window." I said and opened one of the three windows in the bedroom.

I stood beside her and looked out at the street below. There were tourists and natives everywhere. Some salesmen waked around and tried to charm the tourists with scarves and jewellery. Everything I saw lay behind the smoke Emily created as she smoked my cigarette.

"Here." She held out the cigarette for me and I took it.

"It's sort of peaceful you know." Emily said after a while.

Her harsh and rough voice sounded even sexier when she had smoked. I smoked up the cigarette and looked at Emily's beautiful profile. And she was all mine.

"Yeah... "I looked down and made sure no one was underneath the window before I dropped the butt of the cigarette.

"We are finally here." Emily said and hugged me.

In hugged her back and put my arms on her shoulders. "So what shall we do first?" I smiled and kissed her cute lips.

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**_Authors Note: _**What do you think, is it worth continuing?


	2. Chapter 2 - The next second

**Chapter two**

Naomi

"It's so fucking hot!" I cried out as we walked down the cobblestone street.

The sun shone and made me peer.

"Stop complaining, it's better than home anyway. Besides, we're there soon." Emily looked at me. I could see myself reflected in her sunglasses. And if I looked really close I could see Emily's eyes smiling at me, not that eyes can smile, but at least they made me smile.

I couldn't really hear the waves until we were close enough for me to see the ocean, before we reached he beach there were too much tourists around. We had picked the most popular place to visit in India. Actually I didn't mind, as long as I was beside Emily, and knew that she loved me back, everything else was just a fly in my soup. A fly I didn't mind eating anyway.

"I can carry it now if you'd like." I didn't wait for an answer. Instead I grabbed the bag with bath stuff from her hand.

"Naoms! I can carry it myself, I'm not that weak."

"Baby don't pout, it wasn't because of that. I just thought I'd help." I took her hand with my free hand.

"Sure."

The sand had been heated up by the sun and me feet burned as we walked down towards the water. We had a bit of trouble to find an empty spot on the beach. But after a while we found some space in the corner of the beach. Emily slid out of her dress witch reminded me of the fact that I had forgotten to put on my bikini...

_'Fucking hell, she looks amazing in bikini.'_ Her flexible way of sliding out of her dress distracted me.

"You're staring, hun." She looked at me with a smirk. "Come on, get ready."

"I have to get changed. Hold up the towel for me, will you?"

Emily took her blue towel and held it around me, which created sort of a provisionally dressing room. Her length made it a bit low though, so I had to stand bent.

"Don't look." I said as I saw how she peeked at me.

"I won't." She laughed.

When I was done I jumped on her as she turned away. And she fell underneath me down onto the sand.

"I said don't look." I kissed her on her nose.

"Are you going to push me into the water now?"

"Nope, last one in-!" I began as I started to run down towards the water.

"Is you!" Emily interrupted as she ran past me down into the ocean.

The water was cool and nice. It cooled my warm skin. I dived down into the salt water. I couldn't see underwater because the salt made it impossible for me to open my eyes. But I felt a pair of legs that felt just like Emily's, small, soft and smooth. So I grabbed them and dragged her underwater.

"Ahhh!" I heard Emily shout out.

_'Fucking hell if it had been someone else.' _But luckily it hadn't been. You have to take risks sometimes.

I got up above the surface and wiped off the water from my face with my hands. And I saw how Emily coughed and sneezed as she too appeared above the surface.

"You fucking... that was not... ok!" She cried out between coughs.

"Sorry." I said and jumped on her to drag both of us underwater once more.

When we appeared above the surface I gave her a kiss. Her lips tasted salt, I'm not really into salt, but this tasted wonderful. A woman swam past us and gave us a disgusted face. I just looked at her with a stern expression. Then I happily returned to Emily's giggling lips.

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"Cook should have followed." I whispered as we walked along the shore. I dragged my feet in the water as we walked.

"What?!"

"No, it's just that..." I looked demonstratively around at the tourists.

"Oh gosh, stop it Naoms!" Emily tried to cover my eyes with her hands.

"Well you too!" I tried to cover hers as well.

"But you have to admit though. Cook would have liked these topless sunbathers." I smiled and took Emily's hand while elbowing her playfully in her side.

We walked along the beach hand in hand. I enjoyed every second of it, every second I had Emily by my side. She made me whole and she made me happy. What more could you possibly need. Suddenly I felt how Emily let go of my hand.

"Look!" She picked up something from the sand.

She took my hand and placed a beautiful seashell in my palm. It was not like these almost flat ones. No, this one looked like a cone, one of those seashells you saw in movies. It was absolutely gorgeous. My fingers wrapped tightly around it and I gave Emily a kiss as a 'thank you'.

We walked on and found a quiet place surrounded by rocks, no tourists in sight. So I pulled Emily into a real kiss, a real one, with feeling and all my emotions.

"You know what...?" She asked and looked mysterious.

"What?"

"We haven't fucked on a beach yet." She said filthy.

"No." I agreed "If you don't count telephone sex on your behalf." I smiled and pulled her into another kiss.

Emily pulled me down onto the warm sand. The warmth stung on my bare skin. But it didn't matter. Emily started kissing my neck and the pain mixed with the pleasure and it all feels so good. I fumbled to open her top, her red and white striped bikini.

She licked and sucked on my breasts, teasing my nipples. I moaned and clung onto her, my fingers curling on her shoulders, my nails digging in into her back.

"We got to be quiet." Emily whispered in my ear as she laughed softly.

I kissed her on her cheek and rolled her over.

I walked my fingers down towards her clit and I feet her whimper under me as she squeezed out small noises of pleasure. Then she took her fingers and made me shiver.

Our fingers working, palms rubbing against each other at the same time, and I wrapped my free arm around Emily's neck. Her head leaned back onto my arm in pleasure. I had hard to control my limbs because of the pleasure she gave me. The sand formed underneath our bodies like a mattress.

We moaned together and almost reached our climax at the same time. When I reached my peak I jumped off the pleasure-peak and bent with my body. Then I felt the amazing feeling you always feel afterwards, the feeling of being exhausted and numb and fulfilled, everything at the same time, everything at once.

Emily and I lay there on the hot sand entwined together. Emily used my shoulder as a pillow. I looked down at her and smiled. She looked up at me and kissed me softly.

"I love you." I whispered.

Emily just smiled and kissed me again.

_'This moment, nothing can ever get any better than this, I don't think I can love this girl more than I do right now.'_

But then the next second passed and I realized I had been wrong.

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**Authors note: **Just a lot of fluff. Sorry if you didn't like it.


	3. Chapter 3 - Quiet buzz

**Authors note: **Thank you to everyone that follow, favourite and review. I just want to tell you how happy I get. It feels like small bubbles of joy inside, like a soda... Well enough of me lets continue with the story.

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**Chapter three**

Emily

"Watch out for the sugar." I said and smiled at Naomi who sat on the other side of the table.

I saw how Naomi put down her brown leathered menu on the table and looked at me. She raised one eyebrow in a questioning face.

"It's not the fat that makes you put on the pounds, it's the sugar hun." I said in a matter of fact. I returned to my own menu while I carefully and sneaky watched Naomi's reaction from the corner of my eyes.

Her face turned from looking questioning to looking offended. "Don't you fucking dare!" She put up her menu again and glared back at me over the menu which hid half of her face.

I glared back and smirked at the same time. I could see a little smile playing on Naomi's perfectly shaped lips. I made a flirty face by raising my eyebrow, and it worked. _'Yay I won!' _Naomi cracked up in a smile.

Our little world got interrupted by a voice from the side of the table. "Excuse me, are you ready to order."

It was a waiter. He wore those black and white clothes most waiters wore. He had brown hair and he was pretty pale to be from Goa, and his English was fluent, although it was American accent, not British. He stood with a paper block and a pencil in his hands and looked at us with expectation. But the problem was that I was not nearly done with my decision...

"I'll have a... Erm" I pulled my finger up to my chin while I scanned the menu once again.

"Oh, fuck it. I'll have a salad and she'll take whatever you recommend." Naomi smiled and pointed at me while she handed both hers and mine menu to the waiter.

"Well I would recommend-" The waiter started.

"No, let it be a surprise." Naomi interrupted and grinned at me.

"Thank you." The waiter said before he disappeared.

I couldn't believe that she had just done that. I was pretty much 100 percent positive that it was going to be bad... real bad. "What the fuck Naomi!" I hissed over the table.

"Don't worry Ems. It can be good, you don't know about that."

"And I don't want to know either..." I stared on a spot behind Naomi.

_'What if they come in with a fucking squid, or even worse a brain...?' _I had heard about people ordering the cooks recommendation and they got served something really unexpected... and really disgusting. Next time it's her fucking turn...

"Don't be angry with me babes." Naomi stroked my arm with her hand.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. I can see that. You are fucking boiling and smoke is coming out of your ears." She smiled at me.

I let out a small offended sound while crossing my arms and I looked at Naomi, even madder than I had been before. Her smirk grew until it reached from ear to ear.

"Well I don't expect you to want to eat a fucking... whatever comes in. You only go for rabbit food, you and your rabbit food."

"Rabbit food's tasty. Just a bit sad they don't have garibaldi..."

"You would choose garibaldi over me, wouldn't you?" I laughed a bit at Naomi's surprised reaction.

She looked as if she had seen a ghost at the same time as she looked a bit ashamed. I knew she would never choose those fucking biscuits over me, but she liked them a lot. And it was just a bit funny to watch her reaction.

"No I wouldn't." She kissed my hand and looked at me with puppy eyes.

_'She is just too fucking perfect!'_I thought as I felt her soft, smooth lips on my hand and drowned in her ice blue penetrating gaze.

"I know."

The waiter came in with Naomi's rabbit food and a plate with... something? It looked like sausage but you could never be sure. I took my fork and carefully poked the food on my plate, afraid it would come to life and eat me instead of vice versa.

I looked up at the waiter and cleared m throat to get his attention. "What's this?" I asked as I pointed at the food with my fork.

"It's chourisso." The waiter answered.

"Chorizo?"

The waiter smirked and said, "No, chourisso."

"A what?"

"Chourisso, pig's liver." He said and smiled.

He gave out a light chuckle as he turned around and left. But he stopped after a few steps and said over his shoulder "It's tasty." Then he continued to walk away.

"Close your mouth Ems." Naomi smirked at me.

"…A fucking pig's liver!" I struck out with my leg under the table to kick Naomi.

She made a small jump on her chair and quickly put one hand over her mouth as she gasped, probably to prevent her pellets from falling out. Then I returned to look at my plate with sausages. I really didn't mind sausages as long as they were called just that, sausages. Now when I knew what it was it suddenly didn't feel so desirable. I looked with a disgusted face down on my plate.

"Ems." Naomi said calming. "You love sausages, right?"

"Yeah... but it's a pig's liver." I exclaimed again.

"Well it probably is a lot of pig's liver in the ones at home as well." Naomi smirked again.

"You're probably right... But knowing what I eat contains doesn't make it any better. To be honest it makes it so much worse." I said with a sad voice.

"No sugar, just a lot of fat." Naomi kicked me light under the table.

I looked up at her overly happy face and couldn't keep myself in a bad mood any longer. I too cracked up in a smile.

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"I'm not going to say I liked it." I said sternly after finishing my plate.

Naomi looked at me as if she didn't believe me. But she didn't say anything. She just smirked at her plate. But actually I thought that it had tasted quite good. But I never planned on admitting it. Although Naomi probably already had figured that out by judging on her disbelieving face looking from my empty plate back to me.

Naomi finished her glass of water and looked longingly at me "Do you know what I'd really like?"

"What?"

"A beer." She sighed.

"Well, order one."

"Can't we go and see if there are any nightclubs around here?"

I looked at my watch and it showed that it was half past ten. _'If there are any nightclubs around here they should be open by now, or open soon.'_ I thought.

"Sure, let's go." I got up and took Naomi's hand and almost dragged her out of her chair.

I was pretty excited to see the nightlife in Goa, could really be an experience. The waiter came to us before we left.

"Tasted good?" He asked while clearing the table.

"Yeah." Naomi said and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I just smiled towards the waiter.

"Where are you from? From your accent I would guess on England." He said a bit carefully.

"Right there, we are." I answered.

"You are very good at English." Naomi added.

"Thanks. I am half American." He smiled. "My name is Simon." He now stood with both our plates and glasses in his hands.

"I'm Naomi and this is Emily."

"Yeah, bye Simon." I smiled and walked away with Naomi behind me.

"In a hurry babes?" Naomi asked as she walked up by my side.

"A bit excited."

I felt how Naomi put an arm around my waist.

I stopped on the street. Naomi didn't noticed and continued walking, but my hand on her wrist stopped her in her tracks. She turned around and looked confused at me "What is it babes?" she asked.

"Nothing." I walked so close to her that I could hear and feel her breathing. I let my hands grab her around her neck, feeling the warmth from her skin. She twitched while letting a small sound of amazement escape through her slight parted lips.

I pulled her into a kiss and I felt how she took my bottom lips between hers while mumbling "I love you."

"I love you too." I mumbled back before deepening the kiss. Her soft lips tasted sweet and it gave me goosebumps all over my back.

The night air was cool and at the same time warm and I could hear the sound from the waves and from the quiet buzz from the people around us. Most of it probably came from the restaurant we just left. We continued walking hand in hand along the street under silence, enjoying the peace from just being.

Naomi stopped outside an entrance with a lot of people. Most of them looked like nightclub persons. You know, with high heels and dressed up with tight dresses and so on. Naomi pointed at the place which music came from and looked at me.

"Why not." I said shrugging my shoulders.

We got in and I looked around. The place was crowded with both natives and tourists. The light was dim and there was a small stage with a DJ playing the music. In the corner of the big room was a bar. Naomi and I pushed our way forward thought all the people who danced towards the bar where we sat down on the barchairs.

Naomi ordered a large beer, the one that brought us here in the first place. But I wasn't too interested in getting too drunk so I just ordered a small one. I didn't want to miss the chance to take everything in. If I would get too drunk I wouldn't even remember this night, and then this would have been fucking pointless.

I looked over to the other side of the bar and saw a young man looking at me. He had brown hair and a quite pretty smile. I quickly looked away and stared down on my beer between my cupped hands. '_Don't look. you don't want him to come over_.' I thought to myself.

I looked at Naomi beside me. She sat with her back towards the bar leaned against the bar counter and looked at the people dancing as she drank her glass of beer that was almost empty. She emptied the glass with one last gulp and put it down on the bar. Then she jumped of her chair and came and wrapped her arms around me from the back.

"Let's dance." She rested her head on my shoulder and whispered close to my ear as she took my hands.

"Why not, a few minutes can't hurt right?" I answered and spun me around so that I faced her.

"Yay!" She dragged me out to the dance floor. She danced like if there was no tomorrow. That's when I wished that I would have gotten a bit drunk. She danced close to me her arms wrapped around my neck. I closed my eyes to disappear in the moment. I let the beat of the music drench me.

Naomi danced closer to me and her grip around my neck went tighter as she tried to push me closer to her. I felt the sweat forming on my forehead and in my neck. And the people dancing around me crept closer. I got exhausted and walked back to the bar with Naomi tagging along after me.

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Naomi

She just walked away from me... I stood in the middle of the crowd and looked as she disappeared towards the bar. I looked briefly around me and decided to walk after her.

I sat down by the bar beside her and leaned closer to her. "Why did you go?" I asked. I had to shout to overpower the loud music.

"I just need to pause a minute." She shouted back. I looked at her as she closed her eyes and breathed heavily.

_'She must have been really exhausted'. _For a few seconds I thought of going back to the dance floor. But I decided that maybe it would be best to keep Emily company. After a few seconds thinking I came to the conclusion that I too maybe needed to pause.

I ordered a gin and tonic and drank it up quickly. I felt how the alcohol loosed up my tensed mind and everything began to feel a bit dreamy. I loved the feeling and ordered two more and swept them down in a flash. With my head light I looked around at all the people dancing. Some danced carefully while some danced as if they had fire in their souls. Some of the couples danced close, body to body.

I looked at Emily and felt how I moved towards her, like a magnet. I wanted to be close to her, hold her and kiss her. I wanted to feel her and dance so close to her I could. I let one of my fingers scratch along Emily's spine as she sat towards the bar.

"Follow me." I whispered close to her ear. So close that my lips touched her earlobe when I spoke.

She shivered under my touch "You go, I'll come soon."

She turned around and gave me a quick kiss. The kiss left a heated spot on my cheek, a spot that began to burn. I could hear my own heart pumping and everything suddenly felt so real. Either it had started something emotional inside me or the alcohol was to blame for the crazy reaction.

I moved out on the dance floor. I began to move my body to the beat. But I couldn't really hear the music. All I felt was the thumping from the base. I wasn't a really good dancer. Emily was far better than me, hands down. But I had to cope without her for a little while.

From the corner of my eye I spotted Emily and I felt unsatisfied. The burning spot from her kiss on my cheek made itself reminded and suddenly I wanted more. I made a quick spin around myself and looked over at Emily again, this time to go back to her.

I saw Emily ...and a man. The young man came onto her, with his hands touching her. I felt the rage rise inside me.

_'Oh fucking hell no. She is mine!'_

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**Autours note: **This was a longer chapter, couldn't help myself. I'm sorry for the fact that I suck on updating, I don't write very fast...Please review because I love you.


	4. Chapter 4 - Not worth the time

**Authors note: **Ahh I'm running along the ceiling with anticipation! Skins season 7 are about to air. So close…

Once again thank you everyone that review, follow or/and favorite. You make my day!

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**Chapter four**

Emily

"Come dance with me." He put his warm and sticky hand on my shoulder.

"No, thanks." I turned away, giving him my back.

He still had his hand on my shoulder so I picked it up between my thumb and my index finger and dropped it off like if it was some sort of vermin. It was that man I had accidentally gotten eye contact with when Naomi and I first entered the club, the man from the other side of the bar...

"Why not?" He had a bit of an accent when he spoke. I figured that he was from southern Europe.

He stroked his hand over my back, and I began to feel pretty uncomfortable. I started to twist nervously in the chair. I turned away more demonstratively and tried to reject him with my body language. It worked to a lesser extent. Instead of touching me he sat down beside me and waved for the bartender to come over.

"Do you want anything?" He asked.

"No, I'm actually here with someone." I said stiffly.

"I bet that bloke ain't much of a competition against me."

_'Pretty confident here, are we? And that someone is actually a she.'_ But even if that was what I thought I didn't say anything.

Then from nowhere the man beside me flew onto the bar with his head. I saw from the corner of my eye how he caught himself with his hands and turned confused around, and so did I. I saw at one furious Naomi standing with her arms crossed looking sternly at the man beside me. _'If only looks could kill'._

At first he didn't notice Naomi, or maybe he just looked past her. He looked around himself in confusion to try to see what had happened. After a few seconds his eyes met Naomi's and when he saw her he smirked lightly in a very patronizing way.

"What is it love? Do you care for a dance?" He laughed.

"What the fuck is this?" She looked at me.

"He is a creep. I didn't do anything." I pointed at the man beside me hoping that Naomi would understand. Thankfully she turned her rage towards the man. For being drunk she was quite good at understanding the situation.

"Stay away from her." She tilted her head slightly and glared at the man.

I smirked where I sat. The ice-queen herself in the flesh were back. I realized that the loud music were pretty useful at this point, no one paid attention to what was happening.

"Who? Her?" He pointed at me and chuckled.

"Yes her. Don't you dare to fucking touch her."

"But we were going to take a spin on the dance floor." He leaned over me and wrapped an arm around me. And before I had even registered what had happened he kissed me on my cheek.

I had been totally unprepared. To be honest I had just watched Naomi with pride. That was my girl. But the kiss on my cheek made me turn to him and give him a slap right across his face. His hands flew instinctively up to his cheek.

He looked at me with wide eyes. "Take it easy." He said when he had recovered from the shock.

"That's what happens when you mess with my girl. She is a feisty one sometimes." Naomi took a few steps towards us and gave the young man a gentle but firm shove at his shoulder so that he straightened up and looked at her.

"Who are you?" He looked at Naomi but gazed cautiously at me before turning back to Naomi.

"Her girlfriend and you stay the fuck away from her." Naomi glared at him and took a threatening step towards him.

"Whoa." He raised his hands in an attempt to shield himself from her.

I though the sight was pretty funny now. He had been very cocky in the beginning but now he looked as if he was threatened by Naomi. I agree that Naomi is tall, but scary and threatening, no. My smirk fainted as the man looked over at me. He pointed at me and looked back with a smile at Naomi as if he got it.

"Oh girlfriends." He's smile turned to a smirk and he began to wave his index finger in a reprimanding way. "Good try to get me away." He laughed.

"You want fucking proof?!" Naomi raised her voice even more than necessary to overpower the music.

"Yeah!" He laughed and smirked at the same time.

In the next second Naomi pressed her lips against mine. She firmly found my tongue but stopped my few seconds of heaven abruptly. Then she took my hand and dragged me off my chair.

I looked at the young man, who sat with big eyes and a little smile playing on his lips.

"He's not worth our time." Naomi said stiffly and eyed the man from head to toe. Then she walked out of the pub while holding my hand. She practically dragged me out.

We pushed our way out through the dancing crowd. When we got outside I dragged in a deep breath of the cool air. Well the air wasn't really as cool as in England, but it was way cooler than inside the club. Naomi let go of my hand and walked away a bit from the entrance and sat down on the pavement.

"That was special." I said when I sat down beside her on the pavement.

"I won't let anyone near you, cause you're mine." She smiled and took my hand.

"Yes I am, always." I leaned my head against her shoulder and took her hand between both my hands. "I love you." I whispered and squeezed her hand gently, relieved that there was no music to drown my words.

I felt how Naomi turned so I looked up to face her. Her ice-blue eyes looked at me, piercing through my soul. She was the only one that could look at me and give me the feeling of being exposed. It felt as if she could see my whole soul when she looked at me. That was one of the reasons it had been so hard to see her while she was in hospital. Even if she hadn't remembered me she still had had that way of looking at me, that piercing gaze.

But the past didn't matter now. She was mine again, and I would never let her go.

"I love you too." She leaned towards me and gave me a soft kiss.

We sat in silence for a few seconds before her hand began to move up my thigh while she started to giggle. Her quick mood swing reminded me of the simple fact that she was drunk.

"Let's get back." I said and stopped her hand by lifting it off me. I stood up from the pavement and held out a hand for her to grab.

I brushed off the dust from the road that had gotten on my skirt with my free hand. Then I drag Naomi up from the street. She leaned back her head in resistance and made herself heavy by pushing back.

"No, why love?" She giggled out.

"Cause you're drunk, _love_." I said and made another effort to get her up.

Suddenly she stood up herself, just like that. I had used my whole body to try to drag her up and the sudden disappearing of resistance made me almost trip backwards. I let go of her hand as I wobbled back a few steps. She smiled and walked up to me and took my hand. I expected resistance from her once again. But she followed me and walked pretty straight by my side.

"Kiss me." She whispered in my ear as we walked.

I gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. I didn't want to feed her desire even more by giving her a proper one. I saw how she got a bit sad, but soon after she forgot it and began to stroking my spine. I shivered with pleasure, but I tried my best to stay determined and get her back as soon as possible.

We walked pass a dark alley. I glanced into it and all I could see in the darkness was some lumber. It gave me goose bumps, and not the good sort, so I dragged Naomi and myself away from it. We continued walking. A creepy feeling of being followed crept closer. And suddenly I could hear footsteps behind us.

_'No. You're just imagining things.' _

But I took a firmer grip on Naomi's hand. I didn't imagine the footsteps because I could still hear them, and they came closer.

And Naomi's comment assured me. "There is someone behind us." She half whispered, half giggled into my ear.

The next seconds went past so quickly I hardly remembered what really happened. That someone behind us, walked right into me with his shoulder, I felt how his hand fumbled with my skirt. At the same second Naomi backed off in shock. But as soon as she had backed off she was walking threatening towards the man beside me. Who by that time had already walked past me and was on his way down the street.

"This is not happening twice today mate." Naomi said and lengthened her steps towards the man.

The man got shoved in the back by Naomi down the empty street. He turned around and I caught a glimpse of his face. He was a middle-aged man with black hair and a native look. But he turned around and walked past me again. And once again I felt how he dragged in my skirt.

"No!" I exclaimed and backed off.

And the next second the man had disappeared behind a corner. It all had begun and ended in the time-lapse of less than a minute.

Naomi decided that it wasn't going to be over that quickly. So she walked from me and down towards the corner. I was sure that it was the alcohol that made her lose her assessment ability. I ran after her and grabbed her wrist because I wasn't really in the mood of searching up trouble once it had left.

Naomi and I looked first in chock after the man that disappeared and then she just looked sad. I felt how Naomi's hand searched after mine, so I let go of her wrist and grabbed her hand in a firm grip.

"What the fuck was that?" She asked, still looking down the empty street.

"Dunno..."

We began walking home again. As we walked I felt strange. My skirt had pockets in it. And I was positive that by the beginning of this night I had had something in it, something that had bounced against my leg when I walked...

I felt with my hand in my pocket and became extremely surprised when my whole hand appeared through a hole that hadn't been there before. I stopped abruptly.

"What is it?" Naomi half slurred out due to her drunkenness. She sounded totally unaware of what just had happened.

"Naomi... my wallet... it's gone."

* * *

**Authors note: (**I dedicated this chapter to a drunken Naomi. XD**)**

I want to hear from you... and yes even you, silent reader.


	5. Chapter 5 - Effervescent tablet

**Chapter five**

Naomi

_'No go away you __fucking__stupid__sun__!'_

My head hurt and I put my arm over my eyes to cover them from the bright sunlight. I heard people talking, loads of them... _'Where the heck am I?'_ I couldn't remember hearing so many people in my entire life outside my bedroom.

I turned myself around, changing my position so that I lay on my side. My hand dragged over the quilt I lay on and the unfamiliar duvet cover and scent of the cover made me sit up in a slight shock. My head spun so I pressed my fingers to my temples. When the dizziness stopped I dragged my hands through my hair. I felt the scar from the stitches from my accident under my fingertips. The scar reminded me of the horrible time at the hospital and how much I hated the feeling of not remembering... This was so much like that time, not remembering.

While my eyes adjusted to the daylight I found myself in an unfamiliar bedroom. And to my surprise I wore my t-shirt I use to sleep in. The only thing was that I couldn't remember putting it on.

_'How did I get here?'_

I tried to stand up but I became all dizzy, so I sat down on the bedside again. One of three windows was open and that must have been why I heard so much noise.

Suddenly it all went clear to me. I was in Goa with Emily. But I still couldn't remember what had happened last night. _'Where is she?'_ I looked around the room but couldn't see her.

I leaned back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

"Emily?" I called out her name... no answer.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I got dragged out of my sleep by small wet kisses being placed all over my face.

"Wake up. Rise and shine hon." Emily whispered between her kisses.

She made me aware the fact that I had fallen back asleep.

Even if being awakened never was pleasant, this was by far the best way of being awakened. I actually liked it. It was all lovely and perfect. And it was not often I got the privilege of being awakened like that, because I often woke up earlier than Ems. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Emily smiling soft at me.

"I guess you have a massive hangover after last night." Emily said when she sat herself up after noticing that I had woken up.

"Erm... What?" I mumbled out with a sleepy voice. "Where have you been?" I put my arms underneath me for support so that I was half sitting.

"Naw, you've missed me." She said with an overly sweet voice. "I've been fixing us some breakfast." Her naturally rough voice made me smile, and her mentioning breakfast made me realize that I was pretty hungry.

"What happened last night?" I asked, ignoring my growling stomach. I slowly sat up in front of Emily on the bed, crossing my legs.

"Briefly said, we went to a bar. You got drunk. I walked you back and put you in your pyjamas before you fell asleep... Oh, and my wallet with my pocket money got stolen."

"And a guy at the pub hit on you." I added as I remembered it.

"You weren't much better Naoms." Emily smirked.

"What?"

"You were all over me, just so you know."

"Oh..." was all I said while my mouth fell half open by embarrassment and shock.

I felt sort of embarrassed by the fact that I had been all clingy. And what did I do when Emily got robbed...? No, I didn't want to think about that. But I feared that I maybe just giggled and wasn't much of a help.

"You get quite needy when you're drunk." Emily leaned over and kissed my cheek. "It doesn't matter though, I kind of like it." She gave me one last kiss on my slightly open mouth.

"You mentioned breakfast." I murmured against her lips and kissed her again.

Emily jumped of the bed and walked towards the kitchen. I got up after her, trying to ignore my dizzy, hurting head. I sat down by the little table with two chairs in the small kitchen. The walls in the entire apartment were disgustingly yellow with a brown undertone. And it didn't help my hangover at all. If something, it made me want to puke.

"Here. Drink this." Emily put a glass of water in front of me and dropped an effervescent tablet into it.

I watched the white tablet dissolve in the water, creating bubbles and making a fizzy sound. "You are prepared for everything." I simply said before drinking up the content in the glass.

Emily smirked before saying "Not for everything... I'm apparently not prepared that someone would cut open my skirt pocket and steal my wallet."

"Ha that of course... How much was it?"

"Thankfully not much, I left most of the money here when we left for dinner yesterday... to make you pay." She grinned.

"Fuck you!"

"But you did anyways, didn't you."

"Yeah, I guess I did." I said while feeling the effect of the tablet. My head became clearer and my dizziness almost disappeared.

"And the robber will get a nice surprise. I had that photo of us in my wallet."

"That one?"

"Yeah!" Emily said. And she and I burst out in laughter.

I knew exactly what photo she meant. It was from a day in the beginning of this year. Katie walked around and photographed when we all hung out in the park a sunny day in Bristol. She captured a cute photo of me and Emily kissing... but Cook decided that he too wanted to join the picture. He dragged down his pants and showed to the camera his _amazing _(with sarcasm) tattoo on his arse.

So it was a quite funny picture of me and Emily kissing with Cook in the background displaying his arse to a probably shocked Katie.

**Brrrrrrrrrrr!**

**Brrrrrrrrrrr!**

**Brrrrrrrrrrr!**

My ringtone interrupted our hysterical laughter. Emily giggled quietly while getting up and moving towards the writing desk in the other room.

I picked up my phone and the display told me that it was my mum. Did she even know that I was the one going to pay for this phone call? Irritated I answered the phone.

"You know I am the one that pays for this fucking phone call!" I knew it wasn't the nicest way to answer, especially not a call from your mum.

"Yes I do love. But I just wanted to hear how you are." She said with her most innocent voice. _'God, sometimes my mum is fucking naive...'_

"I'm fine... thanks." I murmured between gritted teeth.

"Good, good to hear love... erm... yeah..."

"What?" I demanded.

"There is something I have to tell you... Kieran and I..." Her voice died out.

"What, have you broken up? Are you pregnant? Moving in together... What?"

"No love, we... are getting... married."

"What?" I felt like a tape on repeat.

"I know this must feel strange love. But I really like him. You know how it is to love someone."

I looked through the opening in the kitchen towards the bedroom and looked at Emily sitting by the writing desk. '_Yes, I do know how that feels... to love someone more than anything.'_

"Well... good for you. Bye." I said before I hung up.

Mum was going to get married... to Kieran! It was against all her principles. Although I never had any problem with marriages that just felt too unnatural. Mum, that had had plenty of lovers, was now going to settle down with one man for the rest of her life. I thought about my dad.

I never knew him. I didn't want to know him either. He was a wanker who left my mum. But for some reason the fact that she was getting married was sort of interesting._ 'How did she learn to trust people after what happened between her and my dad...?'_

I walked, still in shock, towards Emily in the bedroom.

* * *

Emily

**Brrrrrrrrrrr!**

**Brrrrrrrrrrr!**

**Brrrrrrrrrrr!**

I recognized Naomi's ringtone. The ringtone interrupted our hysterical laughter and put an end to our amazing moment. I thought that it was completely unnecessary. But I tried to be quiet. But it didn't work out pretty well. So I giggled my way out of the room quietly moving towards the writing desk in the other room.

I was thinking of finishing that letter to Katie, that letter I started on when we first got here. But that time I had been interrupted by Naomi and her fucking cigarette craving.

I knew that if I didn't call or send a letter to Katie she would become furious. She would probably call me herself.

_Hi Katie!_

_I'm fine and the flight went well. You don't want to be here, too many hot guys walking around with bare upper bodies. And the sun would make you burn yourself._

_Anyways, Naomi and I are fine a_

My writing got interrupted by Naomi walking into the room. I looked over my shoulder and dropped my pen in shock. She looked as if she had seen a ghost. Her mouth wide open and she was white as a sheet with a blank expression on her face.

I walked up to her and took her hands. "What happened?"

I expected the worst possible thing. _'Something has happened to Gina... or Cook...?'_ I thought as I waited for an answer.

"Mum's getting married... to Kieran." She said with a small voice.

"You are fucking kidding me, Gina, getting married." I said in disbelief.

"No. It's fucking true." Naomi said stiffly.

Her expression serious and she didn't meet my gaze. She stared at some unspecific spot behind me, or through me...

"Fucking hell..." I said after a few second. "Fucking hell..." I repeated.


	6. Chapter 6 - Red silk fabric

**Chapter six**

Emily

The café was not full of tourists as I had feared. I had thought that every single café along the beach would get full at lunch time. But luckily I had been wrong. The sun shone and a soft hot breeze travelled through the air.

We sat by a small plastic table outside a small café on hard plastic chairs.

"What is wrong about them getting married?" I asked as I took a sip from my tea. I looked curiously at Naomi.

My question did not seem so welcome. She looked bothered about me bringing up her mums marriage because she started to twist slightly in her chair so that it creaked.

"Nothing..." I heard how she tried to sound unbothered.

I wasn't sure about that though. "Are you sure? You have been pretty quiet since that phone call."

"Yes, I'm fine with it... It just doesn't feel like something my mum would do. I mean after all she has been through."

"Well, she maybe just wants to settle down, feel safe for the future." I put my hair behind my ear. "Do you know when they are getting married?"

"No. She didn't say."

"Hope they will wait for us to get back home." I smirked. "Don't you want to get married some day?" I asked after a while.

She looked a bit surprised at me. She must have thought I joked because she studied me a good while before she answered. I didn't want to scare her or anything. It had just been a question in general.

"Probably not, do you?" She said.

Yes I wanted to. But not right at that moment, although I wanted to get married to Naomi one day. But I wasn't sure if it was going to work out between us forever. I just had to wait and see. Although I hoped it would work out because I loved her more than myself, more than humanly possible.

"Hopefully... But right now I just want to enjoy life." I smiled and thankfully Naomi smiled back at me.

"So now I have heard from my mum... Have you heard from Katie?" Naomi smirked at me from the other side of the table.

"No, shit!"

I had totally forgotten to contact Katie. She was going to murder me! She was very watchful over me, sometimes too watchful.

"Take it easy." Naomi tried to calm me down. "I'm sure that if she really missed you she would have contacted you instead of waiting." Naomi said factually.

"Fuck off Campbell." She had just stated that my sister did not miss me. I looked sternly at her, trying to avoid smiling at her being so lovely ironical. It is crazy I know, but I really love her ironic personality. It is what makes her the one she is... obviously.

"Aw, I'm sorry babes. Please smile." Naomi looked pleadingly at me with played sadness.

No I was not going to lose this battle. It hadn't been very nice of her to tell me that my own sister didn't miss me, even if it actually had been a joke.

Naomi stood up from her chair and walked over to my side. Then she leaned over and kissed my neck. I continued to look sternly in front of me. But then Naomi found my ear and began to kiss my earlobe, one of my weak spots, it gave me chills along my spine and I shivered and smiled at the pleasant feeling.

When Naomi understood that she had won me over, she walked back to her seat again.

"I won." She said simply and raised her coffee mug to her lips. I watched how her lips slightly parted before she took a small sip from the brown, almost black, liquid.

* * *

Naomi

The soft wind caught Emily's red hair and took it with it up in the air. Her hair swept over her face like a soft red silk fabric, covering her cute smile and penetrating eyes. I looked at her while she used her hands to pull her hair back in an attempt to keep it from her face. But as soon as she let go of her hair it brushed over her face once again.

I could have watched her forever. But she turned to me and met my gaze. She raised her eyebrows. I got caught staring so I cleared my throat before asking"So?"

"What?"

"Shall you call Katie now, or what?"

"Yeah... But I don't have my phone on me." She said.

"Okay, then let's go to a payphone."

"I don't have any money on me either."

"Oh my God, don't you have anything with you?" I exclaimed.

"Sorry. But you're not the one that got robbed in the middle of the night with a drunk you." Emily smirked.

"Jesus, I wasn't that drunk." I said while finishing the last of my coffee.

But she had a point. So that meant we had to go back to the flat, because I expected that Emily wanted to call Katie as soon as possible. I had money but they were to pay for the coffee.

"Ha, you don't even remember!" Emily laughed out. "But let's get back, or Katie will definitely murder me."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Najenun tasaro un ingan jogin yoja ..." Emily began to hum as we walked back towards the flat.

"No, shut up!" I put my hands demonstratively over my ears and began to walk faster.

"Ehhhhy Sexy lady. Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style." Emily raised her voice.

"Shut the fuck up!" My hands covering my ears didn't make the torturous sound coming from Emily's lips go away.

I placed both of my hands over Emily's mouth. The people around us walking down the streets looked at us with confused faces. It was quite amusing actually. I moved my hand so that I had one hand over Emily's mouth and the other one I put around her waist to prevent her to wriggle out of my grip.

"That song is so annoying, and sooo 2012." I said when Emily had shut up.

She could obviously not respond anything because I had my hand pressed onto her mouth. So instead I felt how she began to lick my palm with her tongue. I took away my hand and met her searching tongue with my tongue. The taste of her gave me goose bumps along my spine, as her kisses always gave me.

From the corner of my eye I saw how the salesman to the fruit-stand behind us pointed at us while talking a foreign language to a woman next to him. So I let go of Emily and looked with raised eyebrows right at the man. _'Really?'_

He looked a bit ashamed for getting caught so he immediately stopped pointing and began to mechanically sort the fruits.

"Don't bother babes." Emily said and gave me a tight hug from the back.

But I had a bit of trouble to let go of the man with my gaze. He, as many others, must have a very skew view of the reality.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" I heard from a distance how someone screamed.

The scream came closer and suddenly someone crashed with a bike right into the fruit-stand. Fruit flew everywhere, just like some colorful firework. The young man that had crashed with his bike stopped screaming when he crashed. But the screaming got resumed by the salesman screaming with his hands in frustration dragging his own hair.

Then the salesman began to shout at the man who had crashed into his stand and ruined it. The man got up and brushed of his clothes. He had brown hair, and when the dust had finally settled I could see clearly. He turned towards me and Emily and smiled. Then he turned back towards the salesman offering him some money and said something before picking up his bike and walking towards us.

"Hi Simon." Emily said and let go of me.

"Hi girls." He answered.

I just offered a faint smile. "Nice crash." I smirked.

"Thanks, been practicing a lot." He said sarcastically.

_'Nice one. But he still can't beat my sarcasm.'_

"What have you been up to today?" He asked.

I thought that he was a talkative young man. I wasn't really in the mood for talking. I guess my hangover still were a bit on me. Luckily for him Emily could speak for both of us.

"We have been to the café by the beach. Now we are on our way back, I need to call my sister." Emily said. "And you?"

"I'm actually on my way to work. But my bike is kind of broken. The brakes don't work… just found out."

"Well that's not the only thing on the bike that's broken." I added and eyed demonstratively his bike.

The front wheel was bent to one side while the back wheel was bent to the other side, making the bike crooked. And one of the pedals was pushed into the side of the bike, making it impossible to use.

"I know…" He sounded a bit sad. "And now I'm broke as well." He sighed hopelessly and looked over at the salesman who still eyed the money that he got from Simon that lay in his hands.

"Sad for you." I said stiffly. "Come on Ems, we got to call Katie. Remember?" I looked down on Emily who just rolled her eyes and looked apologetic towards Simon.

"Sorry. We'd better get going. Bye!" She waved to Simon who waved back as we began walking.

"Why were you so rude?" Emily asked when we got out of earshot.

To be honest I didn't really know. I just had been in that mood at the time… She was maybe right. Maybe I had been too rude.

"Sorry."

"Well, it's not me you are supposed to say sorry to."Emily said pursing her lips.

"No you are right. It's to the nice man without a bike." I grabbed her around her waist and kissed her neck, which made her giggle.


	7. Chapter 7 - I can't tell her

**Authors note: **I am so happy that Skins season 7, episode 1 has aired! Ya know it's my birthday tomorrow!

* * *

**Chapter seven**

Emily

"Finally! Where have you been… bitch?" Katie sounded seriously worried.

"I can't believe you didn't call med yourself if you have been so worried."

"But…" Katie's voice died out.

"Easy Ems." Naomi whispered into my ear as she walked past into the kitchen.

"Sorry. I've been busy." I tried to smooth over the bad beginning of our conversation.

"I'm fine. Guess you and the lezzer are having a great time over there." She mentioned Naomi with noticeable, but played, distaste. At least I hoped that it was played.

I could almost see before me how Katie smirked. Then I naturally saw how Naomi pursed her lips and threw an ice cold ironical comment back to Katie. And I smiled a bit to myself at my so realistic imagination.

"Yeah we do." I replied.

"… When are you coming home?!" Katie suddenly sounded desperate and pleading.

"What?"

"It's like a fucking living hell over here without you." Katie continued. "Mum always pick on me, and she can't stop talking shit about Naomi for bringing you over there to-"

"Whoa, I wanted to go, repeating I. It wasn't Naomi's idea." I interrupted Katie.

In reality it had been my idea from the start. I actually didn't want to travel just to travel, I had wanted to travel away to work on us. In the beginning Naomi hadn't been too keen, guess it had had something to do with Sophia. But then she changed her mind, before she lost it, but now we were here. So yeah I really hoped that this trip would help us to get closer to each other as a couple.

"Yeah, but mum doesn't want to believe that… I've been trying to tell her. And James has turned into a fucking tranny and is wearing your clothes. I can't stand this! Our whole family has turned into a freaking zoo. And mum and dad fight again…"

"It's actually kind of nice to hear that you sort of need me. But how did you all survive during our second year at uni when I literally lived with Naomi?"

"Well, during that period mum and I worked on her business and then we had such a huge trouble with the house thing so we didn't really have time to miss you."

"Well we will be home in three weeks."

"Okay… I miss you… bitch."

"I know. You already made the statement clear." I had actually missed Katie's annoying voice these last couple of days.

"What statement?" Katie sounded confused.

"That I'm a bitch. You greeted me with the fact." I said factually.

"Oh, sorry… But have you told Naomi yet."

"No…"My voice died out. How the fuck could I ever tell her?

"You know you have to, today. You both have the fucking best opportunity to solve it over there these weeks-"

"But what if we won't solve it? What if my choice will turn this trip to a fucking nightmare?!" I began to sound desperate. I walked back and forth in the small bedroom.

"Please Emzy breathe."

_'A bit of twin again.' _I noticed my name on twin, my and Katie's language.

"I can't tell her-"

"Tell me what?" Naomi's voice interrupted me from behind.

_'No… fuck!' _I had probably been too loud on the phone and captured Naomi's attention. She had crawled onto me like a freaking ninja.

"Tell her. Bye!" Katie demanded before she hung up.

I was left standing with the with the phone's monotone tones in my ear. I was too afraid to turn around and face Naomi. But I didn't have to. Naomi walked around me instead.

"I heard that you told Katie that we are going home in three weeks." She said and sounded secretive while biting her lip and she smirked.

"Yeah…?"

"Well that won't work out pretty well…"

_'No I have to get back!' _I thought as I began to feel anxious. Katie was right. The sooner I told Naomi, the better.

"I'll tell you why later." She said and wrapped a blindfold around my head and over my eyes, preventing me to see.

_'No I don't like this…'_

"No Naoms, please…" I begged. "What is it that you want to tell me that make us unable to leave in three weeks?"

"I'll tell you soon, hang on there." Naomi said.

I felt two steady hands grip my shoulders. I did not like to be blindfolded. When I was little I never joined any of the blindfold-games. But luckily this was Naomi, and I trusted her. If it had been someone else I probably had died from a heart attack.

I realized that she was leading me outside when I felt the warm air fill my lungs. She led me a long way without saying anything. I just followed like a doll, like a very stiff doll. I had probably been pretty reluctant since Naomi almost pushed me forward. I realized that when I felt how two hand sized spots on by back began to ace.

"Are we there yet?" I began to feel disoriented. I had almost lost my own up and down.

"No, soon."

_'What the fuck is it!? But it can't be true…' _Something told me I was wrong. But I needed to get home in three weeks, and I needed to tell Naomi why. But I didn't want to. She could gladly lead me forever as long as I didn't have to tell her the truth. If she ever found out she was going to murder me, or at least get hurt.

"Now. You were a fucking pain in the ass to lead, stiff like a stick!" Naomi took off the blindfold from me.

_'I can see!'_ I could almost have jumped out of joy because I got my sight back. I looked around and found myself by the ocean and a hotel. The hotel was big and looked amazingly luxurious and expensive. What were we doing there?

"What?" I asked, not wanting an answer.

"Well I was going to surprise you later by paying for another week on this hotel for us. But when I heard how serious you were about going home in three weeks when you talked to Katie I couldn't wait any longer." She smiled happily at her announcement, but I didn't smile. I just looked at her in anxious disbelief.

She was extremely bad at keeping secrets to then surprise at the very end, I knew that. Mostly it just killed the surprise part. But now it totally ruined and crashed my hopes. My hopes, of not having to tell her until the very end, died and now I was almost forced to tell the truth.

"What so we can't go home in three weeks?" I asked quietly, still in shock.

"What aren't you happy?" Naomi sounded a bit hurt.

I went up to her and gave her a tight hug. She hugged me back, but a bit doubtful. I just hugged her tighter. I didn't want to let go. Underneath the smell of her mild lavender shampoo was that amazing raw scent that was so unmistakably Naomi. I breathed in the wonderful scent of her and wanted the time to stop. I just wanted to stand there forever.

But I knew I couldn't. Katie was right at this, I needed to tell her, especially now.

_'But I don't want to!' _I clung on to her even tighter, my nails digging into her back.

"What is it?" Naomi asked and kissed me on my head.

Her amazing care and sweetness made me cry because of all the pressure I was under. And Naomi didn't even know. Would she ever forgive me?

"Naomi… we can't stay here one more week, I need to get home in three weeks." I whispered into her chest.

"Oh." She definitely sounded hurt. "Well if you don't want to we can go home when we planned. I will just save some money." She laughed lightly.

I knew I could leave it at that. But if I did, I had to tell her when we got back home. And there we had an even smaller chance of fixing it up… fixing up the mess I had created.

"Yes but there is a reason…" My voice died out.

I let go of Naomi and backed off and looked her in the eyes.

"Are you sad babes?" Her voice worried.

"Yeah… but let's get back to the flat. Please."

"Sure."

Naomi led me back because I did not know how to walk because I had been sort of blind on our way there. When we got back to the flat all of the air in my lungs disappeared. Naomi fell down on the bed but I could not move. It felt as if I had frozen on the spot just after I walked over the threshold. I stared blankly in front of me.

"What is it… please tell me." I saw from the corner of my eyes how Naomi got up from the bed and walked up to me.

"I have done something without telling you… please let us talk about it…" I whispered.

* * *

**Authors note:** I know I wrote a spoiler here... But then I realized that I maybe should wait with that, you just have to figure out yourself. But yeah I'm proud of myself. Good night and happy birthday to myself. xoxo


	8. Chapter 8 - Once more

**Chapter eight**

Naomi

"What?!" I looked at her in absolute total chock.

"I'm sorry..."

"This was you idea from the start and now you are going to The US!" I put my hands over my head in frustration.

_'What the fuck was she thinking?' _

"If I would have known that I could have attended a university, but no. You just had to ruin my future and only think about yours!" I continued in rage.

"I'm sorry..." Emily repeated. "Please let me explain." I saw how a tear rolled down her cheek.

"No. What is there to explain? You are fucking... ghaa!" I stormed out of the flat leaving Emily.

I continued down the street storming past tourists that looked shocked at me. I felt how the tears ran from the corner of my eye straight back because of the wind my quick walk created. I felt sad and betrayed. She had planned to leave me all along. I had given up the thoughts of university this year to go travel with her... just as I hoped she had, but no... She had to backstab me and attend a university in USA, half across the globe where I would never see her ever again.

I wasn't sure I could stand being so far away from her. I just got her back for the second time. If she was going to leave me I was positive that I would break apart. She held me together.

I kneeled down onto the road in a position of a ball, burying my head in my hands as I trembled. I felt so small and powerless, like a slave to my feelings... once more.

"What are you doing here?" I heard a familiar voice behind me.

I didn't have the strength to get up from the road, not even to answer. I felt a pair of steady hands gently help me up to a standing position.

"Simon?" I sobbed out while wiping away my tears.

"In the flesh. What has happened?" He asked with a worried voice.

"Don't you have... work to do?"

"I'll explain to my boss tomorrow." I think he smirked, but I couldn't really make out through my tears.

Surprised I felt how he took me by my shoulders and led me away from the spot where I had crumpled down. "Where are we going?" I asked through my sobbing.

"To my place, you need somewhere to gather yourself." He answered and continued to lead me.

I didn't want to actually. But I didn't have the strength to do anything about it. But after a few seconds of thinking I came to a conclusion that it would be rather nice to get somewhere to breathe for a few hours, somewhere better than the streets.

"Thanks..." I said after a long delay, so long that it probably didn't even count as a reply.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How did you find me?" I asked when I had stopped tremble and sob all over the place.

"You probably didn't notice, but you actually collapsed outside the restaurant I work on."

I didn't say anything I just hugged my knees I had dragged up to my chest. I looked around in the small but comfortable kitchen with a table and four chairs. If I looked through the doorway I could see the living room on the other side of the hallway that ran through the small flat. It was nothing fancy, but it was cozy and clean.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Nothing… just a… little argument."

"With Emily?"

I simply nodded.

"Do you want something to eat?" He asked. "It's dinnertime after all."

I didn't even get time to answer before he got up and began to prepare something by the stove.

_'Deep breaths' _I thought to myself as I filled my lungs slowly. I filled them with so much air I was capable of, it calmed me down. It felt wrong to be at Simon's. The feeling of being abandoned got replaced with a feeling of guilt because I knew it had been wrong of me to run away.

I looked out through the window. The kitchen was filled with the soft light from the afternoon sun, the orange warm light.

* * *

Emily

"No Naomi!" I shouted after her as she stormed out of the flat.

_'No… what have I done?' _I put my hands over my stomach and folded over as I began to cry. I felt so stupid. What now?

If she only knew that I had planned the USA thing during the time she had been on hospital. For God sake, she didn't even remember me back then. And I didn't have any hope what so ever for her to do so either. But I had been wrong… she had remembered me. But I hadn't recalled my application, why I didn't know.

_'Did I do the right thing just now or was it wrong to listen to Katie?'_

I laid myself down onto the floor, smelling the old wooden planks. I dragged my hand carefully over the floor to feel the wood under my fingertips. My tears made a small puddle and my face got soaked. I slowly calmed down and stopped trembling. I felt so fucking powerless, what should I do? Where could Naomi be? Should I run after her... again?

Everything slowed down, the time, my breathing, my pulse, everything. I began to feel tired. You know the way you always feel after a hardcore cry. The way you feel after those times you have cried your heart out and feel exhausted afterwards. I felt just like that.

My sight went blurry and I couldn't focus on anything. I tried to make out the shape of one of the bed legs, but I couldn't. The contours were blurry and my eyelids heavy. Slowly I drifted away into a deep sleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_"No, Naomi!" I called after her as she ran away from me._

_"You're such a wanker!" She yelled over her shoulder._

_She was fucking right, I was. A real wanker…_

_"No, please!" I ran. I ran as fast as I was capable of._

_Naomi ran as well. She didn't even look back at me nor slow down. The darkness surrounded me. As I ran past buildings the places swished past me in a rapid pace, but still slow somehow. I could see everything around me, but at the same time everything was blurry. _

_Bristol is huge and England is even larger. If I lost sight of Naomi now... she would be gone forever. _

_"I gave up university for you. Why would you do this to me?!" _

_Naomi suddenly stopped right in front of me. I tried to slow down but I couldn't. I thought that I was going to run right into her with a big bang, but no. I ran right through her. As I in shock ran through Naomi as if she wouldn't have been more than air I realized why she had stopped. I fell down a hill as I saw how Naomi got smaller. I hit the ground…_

"Ouch, SHIT, MOTHER FUCKING HELL!"

I opened my eyes with a jerk at the same time I heard a loud thump as my head hit something hard because I lifted my head.

_'It was only a dream…' _The conclusion made me relax a bit.

But no, it had been more than that. It was how this was going to play out. Naomi was never going to forgive me, and with all rights. I was going to fall… down in loneliness without her.

I breathed slowly as I gained my consciousness. I turned over to my back and saw above me the edge of something. That was probably what I had hit when I woke up. I was still on the floor, half underneath the bed.

I pushed myself out from underneath the bed. I slowly got up and dragged myself to the bathroom. My whole body felt sore after sleeping on the hart floor. I turned the lights on and leaned over the sink to take a look at myself in the mirror. My hair was dried against my face. I suspected that it was because of my tears from yesterday…?

_'For how long did I sleep?' _I looked at my wristwatch. _'Seven o'clock…' _I looked out through the door and glanced at the windows. It was light outside, it was dawn. I had slept through the whole night. I turned back towards the mirror. I looked like a piece of shit. I splashed some water in my face in an attempt to wake me up.

_'Where the fuck is Naomi…?' _

I walked back out to the bed where my phone lay on the floor beside the bed. I did not want to use my cell phone because it was so damn expensive to call abroad. But this was an emergency and if someone deserved m money it was Naomi.

_'C'mon answer… Naomi please, answer.' _

Silence on the other end, pure silence, except for the monotone tone. Just as I was about to hang up I heard something on the other end.

"Naomi?!"

A man's voice answered "What happened?"


	9. Chapter 9 - Dejected

**Chapter nine**

Naomi

He was nice to talk to. He was funny as well. We laughed and talked. He was awfully interested in how it was in the UK. So I told him. I told him about the weather, the school, the fashion. He was extremely interested in the food, obviously since he worked at a restaurant. As a true English woman I had to mention tea and scones.

"You know I want to own my own restaurant one day." He said and looked dreamily up in the ceiling with his head resting on his fist.

"I'm sure you're gonna succeed." I smiled at him. I crossed my arms and leaned back in the chair.

He was nice and friendly. But I felt as if I needed to go. I owed Emily to at least listen to her explanation. I had acted stupidly and I never wanted to do anything that would push her away. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I had even promised myself to never run away from her again, because if I did the chances for us decreased a lot.

"Thanks for the food. I think I'd better go now." I pushed the plate away from me and tried to leave as polite as possible.

Simon looked at me and took away his hand from under his face. "It's all right, come back whenever you want to." He got up and stopped me in my tracks by placing himself in front of me.

Did he want a hug or what? I just smiled and decided to sneak past him, but before I could decide what way I was going to take he leaned over… for a kiss.

I stopped him by gently putting my fingertips on his chest with a light push. I left my fingers on his chest to prevent him from another attempt. I looked up at him with a _what are you doing _expression"Eh, excuse me?"

_'What the fuck had he been thinking?'_

"What?" He looked a bit confused.

"You don't realize who Emily is, do you?" I asked and backed a few steps while dropping my arms to my sides.

"No…? What, your friend?" He looked even more confused.

Oh he didn't know. And he thought I was interested, or at least something. But I wasn't, not at all. But I was just a bit terrified about what he was going to think if I told him the truth… But tell the truth and tell it yourself, a new motto of mine. I just hoped that his 'crush' wasn't severe and incurable.

"She's my girlfriend. Yeah we are together, as in love with each other." I explained myself a bit sarcastic.

"Oh, sorry." He really looked as if he regretted his move.

_'He is a nice guy after all.'_

"It's okay. We just had an argument and I need to get back to her." I smiled and walked past him and out through the door, leaving his flat without turning around.

* * *

Emily

"Who is this?" I asked as I, very confused, put my hand to my forehead and shook my head slightly.

I started to suspect that I had called the wrong number or something. But that wouldn't have been possible. Naomi had always been number one on speed dial. Even before she knew I loved her… I had had her as number one since I found her number on the internet. I know that I sound a bit like a creeper, a stalker. And I can sort of admit that I was one. But what could you do if you were incurably in love.

"Simon." The man answered.

"You?"

"Yes. Could you tell me what happened?" He asked.

"How the fuck did you get Naomi's phone?" I burst out. I needed to speak to Naomi and now he was taking up my time.

"She forgot it here. I picked her up from the street. She was really sad and upset."

"That is why I need to talk to her, now!" I cried out desperate.

"Please, it's not my fault she left it here. She seemed really sad and I really want you two to fix things up between you."

"Oh… sorry."

"Come to the restaurant and I'll give you her phone." He hung up.

Simon was really nice. But how the fuck would it help if I had Naomi's cell phone? The chance of me reaching her didn't increase if I had her phone. For a moment I wondered if it was better to just wait in the flat for Naomi or if it was better to go and get her phone. But on the other hand, if I walked away we would walk past and miss each other. Maybe it would be better to just leave it there for her to pick up when she realized she had forgotten it…

_'But Simon is expecting me to pick it up…'_

I picked up my phone again to call Simon on Naomi's number.

"Hi Emily."

"I think it's best if I wait here for Naomi. We'll come and get the phone later today."

"Okay, it'll be here." Simon said before hanging up.

I just hoped that I could trust him.

I walked up to the window and looked down on the street below. From the window you could see the entrance to the building. I hoped to see Naomi walking down there, but I did not. I looked at my wristwatch, it was three pm.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My head felt as heavy as a gigantic stone. I didn't want to open my eyes, afraid that I would still be alone. I turned around in the bed so that I lay on my back. Then I slowly opened my eyes to look up in the ceiling. I had fallen asleep… I turned my head towards the window and looked up at the red sky and estimated that the clock was about seven in the evening. I turned towards the other side and jumped up to an almost sitting position out of surprise.

"Hi." Naomi said with a dejected and at the same time monotone tone.

She sat on the foot end of the bed cross legged. She must have been sitting and watching me sleep. I had not even noticed her coming back. Her makeup was gone. Maybe she had cried it off. Not that I must have looked like a model myself.

I straighten up and sat myself in the same position as Naomi, just on the opposite side.

"Hi." I replied with a low voice. "You came back." I whispered.

I was so close to crying. The fact that she was back meant that she cared about us and that she cared meant the world to me.

"I promised that I wouldn't run away again." She didn't smile when she said it. She just looked at me with an expressionless face.

I nodded as a reply.

"We need to talk…" Naomi said after a while.

"I know…" Then, without intention, my face fell down in my cupped hands and I began to cry while bursting out a bunch of sentences that didn't make any sense.

"I'm so sorry I… You hurt, sorry… I don't know…. Stupid and… Thinking it was… But-"I got interrupted by Naomi who cleared her throat.

I looked up and sobbed lightly. She sat with one hand raised in the air and I took it as a signal for me to not say anything more. I wiped my tears with the quilt I sat on.

When my voice and my sobbing had died out Naomi slowly lowered her hand.

* * *

**A/N: **I know, I know. You might have expected something else. But I have a plan with this story. Right now I'm just trying to find my way towards my goal.

Reviews are always welcome, if you can spare a few words.


	10. Chapter 10 - Opening my eyes

**Chapter ten**

Naomi

I bit my bottom lip which shivered like crazy. I felt how I too was about to burst out into tears at any second. Emily looked at me with big red eyes.

"Don't be sorry. I'm sorry I ran away." I said stiffly, because I really was sorry but I didn't want to crack my façade. If I didn't tell myself to stay strong I wouldn't be able to cope around Emily.

Emily suddenly transformed from sad and sorry to almost angry. "Wait, I don't have to be sorry but you can? Oh my God! I didn't tell you that I was going to uni in the US. I am the one that should apologize here. I hindered you from going to uni so I should actually feel really ashamed right now. I stood in the way for your dreams and I'm so sorry. I made you choose between me and uni but here I am supposed to go o uni myself in three weeks. I didn't tell you, I know. But I had my reason…" I saw how she took a deep breath while closing her eyes.

I had gotten a bit taken aback by her sudden change of mood. She had jus said everything I had thought of. She blamed herself for everything I had blamed her for in silence since she dropped the bomb on me.

"But when did you apply?"

"That is why I had my reasons… it was when you lay in hospital, when you didn't remember me." She said with her eyes still closed. "I wasn't expecting you to remember me, and even less for us to go travel together."

I nodded. I was no longer angry at her. I wasn't even sure I had ever been really angry. All I felt was sad. Her explanation made too much sense to doubt, and I was pretty sure that I would have done the same if I had been in her position. But I still felt sad and lonely. I did not want her to leave me. I needed her too much to be alone.

"I'm so sorry... I know I could have withdrawn my application… " Emily whispered.

Yeah she could have… But oh how much I wanted to hug her, hold her in my arms and tell her that everything was going to be ok, to tell her that we were going to fix this. I wanted to tell her that her choice did not matter and that if something it would make our love grow stronger. But I found myself doing nothing. I just sat there and looked at her. I did not know why I just sat. But something told me that I was too afraid to be left alone to actually comfort Emily at that point, too selfish…

I saw how the teardrops came more frequently rolling down her cheek. "You can study as well!" She said slowly. "You can attend that Goldsmith University."

"What?" I looked at her to check if she was being serious.

"Yeah… You can study as well. I don't want to be in the way for your dreams…"

So that was what it was about. She was feeling bad for attending University and before that trying to make me take a gap year. I wasn't sure if really wanted to go to uni, well yes I wanted to study… but I had been too set to take a gap year that my mind wasn't ready to go to uni just yet…

"You're not in the way for my dreams. You are my dreams." I said and at the same time I felt how all the air in my lungs disappeared. I felt tired and my driving force was gone.

I eyed the girl sitting in front of me. She was my dreams. Everything I wanted for the rest of my life. But what if she would forget me in America?

"I'm sorry… I really am." Emily leaned forward until she was so close to my face that I could feel her every breath. I saw how her eyes got watery "I love you…"

I closed my eyes, having her so close was too hard to handle. I was scared. I was so scared, like a lonely child. I felt how Emily's warm and soft lips pressed against my cheek. I felt how her tears continued to roll down my cheek from her. Then I felt how the bed moved before hearing the front door open to then slam shut.

The door slamming shut broke the façade I had been holding. I fell down on the bed letting the tears that had been waiting in the corners of my eyes to flood down like a fucking waterfall. I trembled so hard that it was hard for me to control my limbs.

_'If Emily only knew…'_ I didn't want her to go. But at the same time I didn't want to stop her. I wanted her to have a future more than anything… But I was scared to be left alone. I didn't want to fall asleep alone at nights. I didn't want to have my whole life on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Emily would get along fine, but I was going to wither away in my loneliness. Thoughts of fear, loneliness and worst of all, losing Emily, circulated in my head.

After no progress in my heavily depressing thoughts I needed a glass of water, I felt dehydrated after all my crying. I walked with heavy steps towards the kitchen. It was almost dark outside and inside the flat as well. No light were on so the only light source came from the bright night light from the windows.

I put my hands on the edge of the sink for support. And I took a deep breath while tilting my head back to get in as much air as possible into my lungs. When I tilted my head back my eyes fell on a wine bottle that stood on the kitchen counter. Emily and I had bought the wine bottle in the supermarket right around the corner.

Something to ease my mind seemed quite tempting. Without further ado I reached out to grab the wine bottle. The first few gulps appeared to make everything so much easier. It felt as if all of my worries slowly traveled away from me with every mouthful I took.

Relieved over the fact that my depressing thoughts were no longer a big issue I slid down onto the floor down along the kitchen counter. Without Emily by my side I had nothing to live for really…

* * *

Emily

She didn't want to study and she didn't want me to study, but she hadn't made any attempts to keep me from doing it. She had been so calm and sensed. I felt torn apart in two pieces. One half of me wanted to study, but the other half wanted to stay in England with Naomi. But the worst thing that could happen was for me to lose Naomi…

She hadn't even asked which university I had attended. I wondered if she even cared…

I walked slowly down the street. It was late, vary late, and the only tourists around were the drunk, the love couples and the ones going to a club. I didn't know when the restaurant Simon worked at closed but that didn't matter. If it was closed all I could do was to turn back again. But I needed the fresh air anyhow.

I approached the restaurant in the corner of the street. There was no light coming from the building and no tourists were around. 'So it's closed then.' I thought as I was on my way to make a spin around to go back.

"Emily!" I heard Simon call from behind.

I turned around and saw Simon sitting on the stairs leading up to the restaurant's porch. He waved and in his hand he held Naomi's cell Phone. I sighed, relived that he was there with the phone.

"Hi Simon" I said as I walked up to him.

"Here" He said while he handed me the phone.

I took it in a firm grip before seating myself down on the stairs next to him.

"How is it going?" Simon asked while looking in front of him.

I studied his profile for a few seconds before answering. "I don't really know to be honest."

"Naomi was pretty devastated when I talked to her…"

"I know."

"Please sort it out. Running away from each other won't solve anything." He turned towards me and looked straight into my eyes.

At first I felt uncomfortable because of the way he stared right at me, right into my eyes. But he just looked at me with a serious look not turning away. What he just said about running away from each other was exactly what Naomi and I had been doing for a long time. It scared me to a point that it was almost fascinating, it felt as though he knew us. I wondered how much he really knew and why he even cared about me and Naomi.

"Why do you care?" I asked almost whispering. I watched him as he turned away and took a deep breath.

"I've been through something similar myself. My girlfriend and I ran away from each other as soon as something went wrong in our relationship. But that doesn't work out too long. Soon you will both realize that you can't go on like that. Something will be too much…"

"What happened?" I asked.

He was silent a good while. At first I thought that he wasn't going to answer, a fact I totally understood. But then he took a deep breath and looked straight at me "I came here, to Goa, to work in my father's restaurant. We lived in America at the time and when I told her that I was going to Goa she ran away as always, trying to hide from the truth. But this time she didn't call me back… I've never seen her since."

I just sat beside him and reflected over what he had just said.

"You can't just run away and expect someone to care. You must first show that you care." He continued as he looked up at the night sky.

I knew that what he said wasn't meant to anyone in particular, more like a reflection. But what he said hit me. Naomi and I were experts at running away from each other, ignoring each other and hiding away our actual feelings. But I loved her to bits and wasn't ready to let her go because of our way of handling bumps in the road. I realized that I had to talk to her again and find out what she really thought about me going to America.

"That's really sad to hear…" I put my hand on his shoulder. "But thanks." I got up and began to walk away.

It took a few seconds for Simon to realize what I said before I left because after a few seconds I heard him call behind my back "For what?"

"Opening my eyes!" I called back to him over my shoulder.

* * *

**A/N: **Sometimes I tell myself that it would be easier to write in advance because then the updates would come more regularly. But the prolem is that I never have the time... I just baked a cake, it tasted awful... *-*


	11. Chapter 11 - One last single drop

**Chapter eleven**

Emily

The flat lay in a dark blue light which reminded me of a horror movie. It felt so empty inside when I stepped in, but I hoped that Naomi would be there. It was completely quiet. I felt the weight of Naomi's cell phone in my right hand.

"Naomi?" I called for her… but no answer.

I went through the rooms to look for her. I was so afraid that she had run off again… The last room I checked was the kitchen. At first I didn't see anything but just as I were about to turn around I caught a glimpse of Naomi's legs on the floor. My gaze traveled along her legs up to her face.

The sight was scary at the same time as it was unbelievable and it made me gasp. Naomi sat, sprawled out on the floor, leaning against the kitchen counter with an empty bottle of wine lying on its side next to her. From the bottleneck one last single drop of red wine hung on to the edge, ready to drop down onto the kitchen floor. Naomi's eyes were closed and she breathed through her mouth. She looked so peaceful, her face lax and smooth.

"Naomi!" I kneeled down next to her as I almost threw her phone onto the floor.

"Naomi!" I called her name again and shook her shoulders hoping that she would wake up.

I looked to the side and the wine bottle revealed what had happened and I felt terribly guilty. The bottle wasn't even open when I walked away to meet Simon, and now there was nothing left, not one single drop. I didn't want that to happen, I never expected that. I wished that I never told Naomi about university, I wished that I had decided not to go.

"I'm so sorry…" I whispered out and I felt how my eyes burned form tears that wanted to come out.

I placed my forehead against her temple and watched her closed eyes as I repeated "I'm so, so sorry…" I breathed heavily between my sobs and my breath bounced back against Naomi's cheek making me feel the warmth of my own breath.

I leaned back slightly and eyed her in her, what looked like an uncomfortable, position. I wanted to move her to bed. But I realized that there was no way for me to move her carefully from the floor without being too clumsy and risk to hurt her… or myself for that matter. So instead I went to the bed and took the two pillows from it.

I walked back to the kitchen and shoved Naomi with one push closer to the corner, so that she could lean to both sides without falling over, and placed a pillow behind her back. I placed myself on the kitchen chair a few feet away from her and just looked at her. I felt so guilty, so very guilty.

I dragged my legs up close to my chest to make myself as small as possible. I sat in the position of a meatball. And if I could have I would have made me small as a pea. I just looked at her over my knees while I sobbed silently. I dug in my nails into my legs in an unsuccessful attempt to stop trembling.

Sometimes life is hard. But when you live for something it is never worth giving up, because if something is worth having it is something worth fighting for… I just didn't know how to deal with this.

* * *

Naomi

"Thanks..." I said but I didn't make an effort to take the phone Emily just pushed across the table.

She didn't respond. She just shrugged her shoulders and continued to look down on the empty wine bottle on the floor with a visible frown. I didn't actually know that that was what she looked at. But judging from her concerned expression I thought I had right. I looked over my shoulder to stare at the bottle that lay on the floor behind me. It was empty, and I didn't even remember how.

I looked back at Emily who sat on the chair in front of me. I didn't know how long she had been sitting there. All I knew was that when I woke up she sat on the chair with an effervescent tablet lying beside a glass of water in front of her on the table. She sat with her legs pulled up on the chair with her arms wrapped around her knees. She didn't notice when I woke up. She had been sitting with her face buried in her chest.

I took a deep breath. "How long have you been here?" I asked as I put the tablet in the glass.

Once again I watched the white tablet dissolve in the water, creating bubbles and making a fizzy sound. But this time there was a different atmosphere in the room, it was tense and strained. Not at all joyful and light as last time I watched an effervescent tablet.

"I came back when I had gotten your phone from Simon." She said without looking at me.

"I forgot it there..."

"I know."

I stared at the water that now had a white colour to it. The fizzing sound had stopped and I couldn't see that anything was left from the effervescent tablet. I clasped my fingers around the cold glass and prepared to hold my breath while gulping the liquid down. It had an awful taste to it, but holding ones breath really helped. I felt how the water cooled my throat as it travelled down towards my stomach. I watched Emily carefully over the glass edge and saw that she sat and looked out through the window.

When I had emptied the glass I put it back down onto the table and got up from the chair and walked towards Emily. It only took a few steps for me to get close enough for me to wind my fingers around and through a lock of her red hair.

_'My beautiful Emily'..._ The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. I had promised not to hurt her. Her happiness was all that mattered to me. I looked her in the eyes and saw how she held back her tears, her lips pressed into a thin line and her eyes flickered. I took my hand and tilted up her face by gently pushing up her chin. She looked at me for a few seconds before her gaze dropped as she tried to control her emotions. I decided there and then that I was not going to take up the subject about University again and I was going to let her know that I supported her fully.

"I love you. I want you to study... I want you to go." Her eyes met mine at my words and I gave her a faint smile before I leaned over and kissed her on her lips.

She mumbled a "But..." against my lips.

"No. Don't." I pulled away and smiled, trying to make her realize that I was at ease with my decision.

Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Ok... I love you too."

"I know."

* * *

Emily

The ghost looked back at me. She was similar to the ghost I saw in the mirror two days ago. The mood between me and Naomi had been stiff and it felt forced. I felt empty and lost. My red eyes shone, out of tears, back at me. My hair was in desperate need of a shower and my whole heart was in desperate need of affection...

Outside the bathroom I heard something vibrating against wood. I wondered for a second if it was my phone or Naomi's. When the sound continued I jumped to the conclusion that it was my phone.

I opened the door and stumbled out. And I had been right, it was my phone. The screen showed the name _Katie_ and I knew what waited. She was probably curious about whether I had told Naomi about Uni or not. I didn't feel like talking to her, I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I still fought with the feeling about if I did the right thing or not...

"Have you told her?" Katie's voice on the other end sounded concerned.

"Yes, yes I have..."

"When?"

"Two days ago..." I had a hard time talking to Katie. My voice didn't want to be strong enough. Tired from crying and the lack of sleep it died out quickly.

"And?" Katie urged.

I leered at Naomi still sitting by the kitchen table. She sat and stared blankly out though the window with her elbow on the table, resting her head on her fist. I filled my lungs with air as I shook my head. I was too tired to talk about it. And to be honest I wasn't really sure how she took it. She had said that it was okay but something told me she hid something more.

"Emily, are you still there?" Katie's question reminded me of the simple fact that she wasn't able to see me. She didn't see how tired I was, how my eyes were red after fresh tears. She didn't see me shaking my head in confusion and exhaustion.

"Yeah..."

"How did she take it?" Katie continued to urge, now with a bit more concern in her voice.

I was just about to answer when I heard something on the other end of the phone. "Katie? Katie? Where are you?" I recognized my mum's voice.

I heard something scrape and then every sound became muffled, Katie had probably put her palm over the microphone. "I'm here!" I could hear her shout.

"Who are you talking to, I need your help." Mum's voice sounded as irritated as usual. But that tone was mostly used on me, a tone I didn't miss at all. I could see before me how she looked at Katie with her, seemingly permanent, frown. And of course it was complemented with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I'm not... no I-"She hung up. The steady ringing tone told me that our conversation, and the phone call, was over. I wasn't sure if it had anything to do with my mum. I didn't even care.

* * *

**A/N: **I am facing a big problem right now. I have another idea for a Naomily storyline and I want to write it. But I don't want to abandon this one...


	12. Chapter 12 - Goddess

**Chapter Twelve**

Emily

"I love you." I heard Naomi's voice from beyond my sleep. I felt her lips pressed against my cheek and I felt how she stroked away my hair from my face. Her soft voice had a slight giggle behind it.

I smiled into the pillow and wondered if I was going to get up or not. I was still scared, just like every morning, that Naomi's good mood was just a dream and that I was going wake up to reality at any time. I slowly opened my eyes and looked up over me where a smiling Naomi met my gaze. Her face was covered in a wide smile, even her eyes smiled at me. Her soft blond hair draped down along her cheeks. She was absolute perfection.

"Good morning babe." She said and leaned over for a kiss before she jumped out of bed and began to walk with light steps, she almost dance, towards the kitchen.

I still wasn't sure of what had happened. Over the last week she had become happier and happier every day. Maybe it was just acting… I was really scared that it was. I didn't even know why she suddenly turned so happy and overly affectionate. She hadn't mentioned Uni anymore and I wondered what to believe about it.

I sat up in bed and watched her walking towards the kitchen. She was already dressed in a pair of shorts and a top with an open back, so I could see her bra closure lying flat against her now slightly tanned back.

I got up after her with an unsure smile hovering over my lips. As I got inside the kitchen I saw how Naomi covered a sandwich with butter as she hummed on a song I didn't recognize. I eyed the table to see if the juice was there… but it wasn't. So I smiled at Naomi who looked up as I passed her, walking towards the refrigerator. My hand griped the white handle and before I opened it I felt skin touching my hand.

I looked at my hand and saw that Naomi's hand lay over my hand, covering my thin fingers. I looked up at Naomi who still smiled. "What do you need?" She asked with an unusual high pitch voice and raised eyebrows.

"I was just going to get some juice…" I answered unsure about what just had happened.

"Go and sit down, I'll fix it for you." She replied quickly.

"Ok…" I let go of the handle a bit curious while I wondered about Naomi's weird acting. But she was happy so I tried not to think about it too much. So I walked back to the table and sat down on it with one foot underneath me. I watched as Naomi opened the refrigerator and disappeared behind the white door.

"Here!" She smiled and waved with the cardboard box in the air as she reappeared. She closed the refrigerator and placed the juice right in front of me with a proud smiled covering her whole face. Was she proud of herself? She was definitely acting weird…

I eyed her as I pour the orange liquid into a glass. She had resumed her humming and her sandwich. "I want to go out tonight, please." She pleaded at me.

"I…" I didn't know what to answer. Of course I wanted to go out with her, but her question had taken me a bit by surprise.

"Please!" She urged even more. She sounded so desperate that I was only waiting for her to go down on her knees for me. Her eyes were wide open and her upper lip covered bottom lip. That expression together with a pair of raised eyebrows gave her a very puppy like expression. I felt how I unintentionally raised one eyebrow at her. Being pleading and puppy-like was not a Naomi kind of thing, she was tough and sarcastic with a weirs sense of humor. Not the first person I would connect to a puppy.

She mimicked my expression and asked "What? You don't want to go?"

I hurried to answer "Yeah, of course I do!" while I nodded vigorously.

My answer seemed to have satisfied her because she smiled delighted at me. "Good." She lifted her sandwich to her lips, which parted, and took a bite. She chewed at the same time as she smiled a sugar-sweet smile at me.

I gave her a faint smile back while I took a sip from my juice…

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I felt how Naomi swung an arm around my shoulders before she giggled extremely close to my ear. The sudden closeness caught me by surprise so I jerked. "Can't we go to the same place as last time?" Naomi giggled into my ear. I turned my face to look at her. She still wore that same, now seemed to be permanent, smile. She blinked flirtatiously with her eyes while she looked at me.

"Since when have you decided that you need to convince me about everything?" I asked and kissed her on her smile witch just made her giggle harder.

"I don't know." She straightened up but still let her arm hang over my shoulders as we walked towards the only club we had been to in Goa, the club where I had gotten hit on and Naomi gave the man that hit on me a bitch slap.

The club was, as expected, crowded. Warm air hit me as we stumbled, due to Naomi hanging on me, inside. As soon as we got inside Naomi took away her arm and grabbed me by my wrist. "Where are we going?!" I shouted out my question as I got dragged further in.

"Here!" Was her answer, which in reality didn't satisfy me at all. But I kept my mouth shut, because I had the feeling that I was going to find out sooner or later anyhow.

We got closer to the bar and I understood our destination. I welcomed Naomi's order for two beers for both of us. I felt the need for something that was going to set my mind off things, I needed to relax and let everything go. The two cold beers did their jobs and I took a deep breath and suddenly I felt like a new human being. It felt as if I could have done anything, but two beers were still not enough for me to lose all common sense.

I jumped out of the chair and dragged Naomi by the waist towards the dance floor, I wanted to dance. She didn't protest, in fact, her whole face smiled as she willingly jumped after me. We pushed our way in to the middle of the big crowd dancing to house music with loud and regular beat.

I felt how she wrapped both her arms around my waist pulling me closer. I snaked my arms around her waist too, and felt the heat from her skin where my hands connected due to her top's open back. We jumped together to the rhythms and once in a while we got a shove from someone that thought we danced to close to them.

Naomi swung with her head to the beat and I watched her with a smirk. Her blonde hair flew like silver dust surrounding her face. The red and blue light pumping around the club lit up the smoke from a smoke machine which created a dreamy sensation. I looked at Naomi as she stopped swaying her head and she met my gaze and smiled.

She leaned forward and buried her face in the curve of my neck. I felt how she placed kiss after kiss along my jawbone. My head flew back as an unintentional moan passed my slightly parted lips. I felt how Naomi smiled against my throat, to my unexpected sound. My eyes widened as I felt how a hand began to travel along my thigh. I tried to hold back a moan but somehow I felt how it escaped even if my mouth was closed. It seemed to have come from somewhere deeper inside of me.

Naomi's kisses got placed further and further down my throat and when she reached the swell of my breast panic struck me. Was this on its way to escalate into fully blown sex?! I looked around me and saw the contours of people dancing around us. Suddenly out of nowhere my legs bent and my whole upper body flew backwards. Then I felt a hand between my legs. And I felt how Naomi's arm supported me around my waist.

_'OMG this is fucking already sex!'_

The truth stuck me at the same time another scrape with Naomi's nail over my clit made me shiver. I looked down at her. I grabbed her by her neck and tilted her head up with as much force I could bare. She looked up at me with a smirk.

I wanted to let her continue, it felt so good. But I felt like we needed to get out of there to a more private place. So I forced her to stand straight before I attacked her lips hungrily. I let my tongue trace her bottom lip as I strategically worked our way out from the dance floor towards the club toilets. Thankfully I had still my sense of reality left so I knew what I did.

We crashed open a toilet door and I slammed it shut by pushing Naomi up against it as we got inside. As she began to work her kisses back to my neck I felt with my hands behind her to lock the door. When I relived heard the clicking sound of the lock turning I once again let myself to get dragged into the moment of heat.

Naomi interrupted her kissing and looked up at me with her eyes dark out of desire. "Full speed ahead" She said with a smirk as I felt a strong push over my stomach that made me fall back onto the toilet seat. And thankfully the lid was closed. I wrapped my arms around Naomi's waist and dragged her onto me. She widened her legs and placed herself in my lap sitting astride, facing me. I watched her as she gracefully pulled her top over her head to reveal a white silk bra. I looked at her cleavage, so soft and desirable.

I kissed her along the edge of her bra on her hot skin. She was so hot that she almost scalded my lips. I began to suck on her nipple and felt it harden underneath the delicate fabric. Naomi let out a moan that was close to a scream. I quickly wondered if the toilets were soundproof…

Naomi took her hand and placed it underneath my chin and tilted my head up. She went for my lips and darted a warm soft tongue into my mouth and I felt her moan against my lips, the sound of her moaning disappearing inside of me.

She pulled away far too quickly to my liking. "I want you so bad." She whispered close to my ears. I saw her hands go behind her back, and the next second I saw her bra flying onto the floor. I stared at her sitting topless on top of me. Even if I had seen her naked many times before it never made me lose the fascination I felt towards her beautiful body.

I let my hands travel from her shoulders, over breasts, over her stomach and settle on her hips. She slid off me and kneeled onto the floor and kissed me on my knee and worked her way along my inner thigh. The tension that built up inside me made me rather breathless. I felt her hands grabbing my skirt and my knickers at the same time and drag the off me. She placed a tender kiss on my clit. The pressure was enough to make my whole body shiver.

"I love you Naomi!" I exclaimed rather out of breath.

"Love you too, love you so much." I heard Naomi muffle against my clit. The warmth of her breath when she spoke made me moan even louder.

I felt how the tension of warmth built up inside of me, ready to explode. And then suddenly I felt Naomi's tongue scrape against my clit and the motion was joined by two fingers slipping inside of me. That was more than enough to push me over the edge. I moaned, or to be fair, shouted out a growling sound. Lights appeared for my inner sight and my legs flew out to the sides. It took several seconds for me to land and I felt how Naomi climbed back on top of me with a pleased and satisfied smiled on her lips. "You are a goddess." I said and kissed her. She still tasted like me, like us.

"I know." She giggled.

"Now it's my turn." I said raising one eyebrow with a smirk.

I stood up with great force from the toilet seat which made Naomi slide off me. Her eyes widened as she slid of my lap onto the floor standing. I gave her another smirk before I pushed her into the wooden door with a great slam. I kissed her once on the mouth but just as it intense I pulled away just to tease her.

I bent down onto the floor and bit the button to her shorts. I tried to open it with my mouth but it didn't work out as planed so I had to use my hands. I hooked the edge of her shorts and her underwear with my index fingers and dragged them off with one single move. I watched as Naomi kicked them back into the toilet seat.

Now she was completely naked and I hungrily kissed her on every spot I could possibly reach from my position. I stood up and took my hand and placed a firm pressure against Naomi's clit. Her head bounced into the door with a bang as she let out a great and loud moan. And I felt the weight of her against my hand. I leaned forward and kissed her on her collarbone. I felt with my hand how the heat radiated from between her legs and knew that she was ready, more than ready.

I got down and placed myself underneath her on my knees on the floor. I placed my lips around her clit and sucked in once and then she came crashing down onto my lap with a light scream that sounded like music to my ears. I leaned back and looked at her, fascinated that I could give Naomi so much pleasure. Before she had even landed from her orgasm I slid two fingers into her and she came a second time. Leaning against the door with lips parted in a moan sitting in my lap with legs spread to the sides I looked at the most amazing sight ever.

She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder. "You are a goddess too you know." She whispered into my ear and I felt how I blushed.

* * *

**A/N: **Is it just me or is it getting a bit hot in here?

This chapter got longer than usual. But I couldn't help myself. I realized that I have never written a detailed love act, so here it is. Hope that you are satisfied. I know I am.


	13. Chapter 13 - Sherds

**Chapter Thirteen**

Emily

"Yesterday night was amazing." Naomi giggled and let out a puff of smoke into the night air.

I nodded in agreement. It had really been amazing. Despite how long we had been in Goa we had only made love twice. But due to my announcement things had been pretty shaky between us. But now Naomi was as happy as she had been during the past week. It still was a mystery to me… I mean how she suddenly got so happy.

"Want one?" She lifted her eyebrows and smiled at me as she offered her cigarette package.

"Thanks" I leaned over the bench and took the package she offered. I opened it and noted that there were only three long white cigarettes with a light orange end pointing upwards.

"Here" I held out the cigarettes, waiting for Naomi to take them.

She put her cigarette in her mouth and with one hand she retrieved the package and with the other hand she held out a lighter. I put my cigarette (well, it was Naomi's to be fair) and leaned over to let her light it for me. As the flame touched the end I dragged in the smoke that got created. As I breathed out through my nose the smoke poured out, I felt like a dragon or something.

As the drugs made me calm my thoughts wondered back to yesterday. Right after we left our love scene in the club bathroom I remembered laughing to the huge line of people waiting to use the loo. Now afterwards I wondered if they heard something. I smiled to myself as I figured how shocked they must have gotten if they had heard something and then Naomi and I walked out together. And I remembered that Naomi was unusually giggly after just two beers. At least she didn't seem to have a hangover the morning after. She had actually waked me up with a bright smile again. Don't get me wrong, I loved seeing Naomi happy. But her behaviour was staring to freak me out a bit...

"What are you thinking of?" Naomi interrupted my thoughts. I looked at her smiling face and eyes wide with curiosity. I couldn't help but smiling back at her.

"Nothing really... and you?"

I saw a frown forming but just as I noticed it Naomi covered it up with a smile. "Me neither."

"Ok..." I scotched myself closer to her and lay my head on her shoulder.

I felt how she wrapped an arm around me. I looked up at her and saw how she dragged in a deep breath through her cigarette to then turn her head away from me to blow out the smoke. When she no longer breathed smoke she turned to face me with a gentle smile. But I saw... I saw that there was something that she was hiding. Whatever it was it scared me to the core.

I smoked up my cigarette while listening to the crickets and the sound of Naomi's heartbeat that pounded close to my ear. The sound combined with her soft arm wrapped around me made me feel safe and secure. I wanted to stay like that forever, wanted the time to stop.

I saw how Naomi threw the end of her cigarette down onto the stone path that curved its way further into the empty park.

"I'm done." She sounded very satisfied with herself.

I took one last breath through my cigarette before I threw it in the direction of Naomi's. "Me too, let's go back to get some sleep." I took my hand and lifted Naomi's arm off me. I placed both of my hands onto the edge of the bench to push me up.

"Noo!" Naomi protested facing the sky with her eyes pressed closed. "I want to go to that club again." She continued.

"No, we can go there tomorrow." I looked at her as she sighed deeply.

"Ok then..." She got up and walked up to my side. Her hand found mine and together we walked back towards the flat. Naomi swung with our arms back and forth as we walked, it was kind of annoying. But I decided not to do anything about it because I didn't want to ruin her wide smile.

As we got back to the flat I put my hand onto the wall for support as I lifted one foot to take of my shoe. I suddenly felt how Naomi wrapped her arms around me and how she used her hand to swipe my hair away from one side of my neck. She began placing kisses witch made goosebumps explode all over my neck and back. I took off my last shoe before I turned towards Naomi who began to giggle. I studied her face and noticed dark circles underneath her eyes which indicated that she needed some sleep.

"You need to sleep babe." I said as I wrapped my arms around her and placed a kiss on her lips.

"You too." She said against my lips and I felt how she smiled.

"Ok, ok." I began to back with my arms still tightly wrapped around Naomi's waist.

She happily followed me as I dragged her over the floor. As we got to the bed I let go of her and climbed onto it. I patted the spot beside me to tell her to come and join me and she did. She crawled over to me and put and arm around me. I lay down, head resting in her lap. I snuggled close to her and smelled her. She smelled Naomi, the scent of amazing Naomi. She began stroking my forehead with her thumb.

"You need to sleep." She whispered ever so gently.

But something told me that she needed to sleep more than I did. I felt how her gentle stroked made me sleepy "You need to sleep too." I slurred out with a lazy smile, my eyes half closed. Then I drifted off into unconsciousness with one thought in my mind _'Why is Naomi so happy?'_

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The sound was loud as cymbals and it pierced my diffuse thoughts and dragged me right out of my sleep by making my body give a huge jolt in a panic. My eyes opened abruptly and all I saw was darkness surrounding me. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I saw an empty pillow right beside me. It was empty! Naomi? As the thoughts rushed through my mind I flew up to a sitting position in panic. I could hear my own breath, loud and harsh.

Then I heard her voice. It was so low, a silent whisper "Fuck."

I felt how my eyes flickered from the left corner to the right corner of my eyes and then back again in confusion. The knowledge that she was still in the flat made me somewhat calmer and my breath slowed down. As I regained some sense of reality I recalled what had waked me up. It had been a sound, a loud and quick noise. It had almost sounded like glass... _GLASS!_ The sound had sounded just like glass shattering into a hundred pieces against hardwood floor. Had it been reality or just a dream?

Then the sound of someone inside the kitchen makes me freeze. I didn't know why it scared me since it most likely was Naomi.

I couldn't see into the kitchen from the bed so I carefully swung my legs over the side and sneaked my way towards the doorway to the kitchen. I peeked inside and I felt how my eyes widened at the sight as my gaze travelled in a rapid speed all across the room before settling on Naomi's face.

The floor lay in a glitter of shattered glass. The moonlight lit up the pieces and made them shimmer like rain. The moon also lit up Naomi's face. Her dark circles underneath her eyes were even bigger and darker. She sat on a kitchen chair with one foot under her and the other one dangling from the chair. She sat and faced the window, thankfully. Otherwise she might have been able to see me standing snug to the wall trying to peek inside.

I watched her sigh with closed eyes. Her breathing was heavy and low and she sat slumped on the chair. Judging from her body language she had been up many nights. She parted her lips and lifted up a black bottle to her mouth and began to pour the content into her mouth.

I gasped for air in shock, but tried to cover the sounds by instinctively putting my hand over my mouth, because I knew a wine bottle when I saw one. I watched as her throat contracted with every gulp she took. Suddenly everything made sense. My eyes got once more drawn to the shimmery floor. The smell, I could smell first now, smelled scarily like wine. And of course it was, without a doubt.

Her good mood must have been thanks to the alcohol. And because she had been in a good mood for a whole week I feared that this had been going on far longer than I knew. Everything became blurry as tears filled my eyes, ruining my sight. I took a deep shaky breath before I stumbled, as quietly as I could, back to bed. The thoughts spun around in my head. How long had this been going on? Was it all my fault? Why did she do it? Why didn't she tell me? What was she hiding? What could I do?

So many questions, and I had no answer. The more I thought about what I just had seen the more I began to cry. I buried my face into the pillow to kill the sound of my sobs. I just wanted to go back to sleep and wake up to a happy Naomi. I wanted this to be a dream, just a nightmare. But when I finally fell back to sleep it was with unease.

* * *

**A/N: **Was that expected?

I know, another chapter with just Emily's POV. And let me ad: **Drink responsibly!**


	14. Chapter 14 - Reassured

**Chapter Fourteen**

Emily

I drifted back and forth between being asleep and being aware. A warm breath in my face made me finally come alive. I opened my eyes and Naomi's face was so close to my face. She slept. Her face was relaxed but I could see that something bothered her so deep that it even showed when she slept. Something close to a faint frown was visible in her face and her breath was low and raspy.

_'Her breath!'_

The sound of her breath reminded me of the night. The nightmare… or? I couldn't fit the pieces together and everything was messed up. I turned around to face away from the sleeping Naomi as I tried to remember. Slowly key things like, wine bottle, moonlight and tears reappeared in my mind. Together with the floor filled with shattered glass. _'Shattered glass!'_

I pull the quilt off me as I get up to walk to the kitchen. I felt how fear built up inside of me as I came closer to the kitchen. I peaked inside and… nothing. The kitchen lay in sunshine and no sign of glass was visible on the floor. I eyed the room to find evidence but nothing was found. I pressed together my eyebrows in confusion. I thought that it must have been a nightmare, just a silly nightmare.

I turned back to find that Naomi had changed her position. She now lay sprawled out over the entire bed on her stomach, her face pressed into the pillow. I walked up to her. I saw something underneath her eyes, those dark circles. It was all that I needed to reassure me that it hadn't been a dream.

I quickly turned around and walked straight back into the kitchen. I needed to find something, something that could make me 100 percent sure. I opened the cupboard under the sink to look into the garbage bin after glass. But I stared down into emptiness, well except for an old banana peel. Naomi was extremely good at covering her tracks, if it actually had happened. I heard something from the bed, a loud yawn. The sound made me turn to look at the bed. I saw two arms take a slow swing through the air. And suddenly I got in a hurry to go through every corner and space in the entire kitchen.

I couldn't believe it. My hand shook against the refrigerator's door handle with a trembling grip. Everything went into slow-motion as my gaze eyed through every shelf. I had to blink hard several times to make sure that I didn't imagine it all. I saw package after package of beer and three of bottles of white wine lying squeezed together on the shelves. Two of the wine bottles were empty and a few beers were missing from the packages. Suddenly Naomi's unwillingness to let me open the fridge made sense, too much sense. I hadn't been a dream. No, it was all too real.

With tears welling out I slammed the refrigerator door shut. My hands began to systematically open every cupboard in search for more. To my relief I found nothing… until my eyes caught a glimpse of a couple of bottlenecks sticking up behind the pans and the pots in the cupboard beside the refrigerator.

With shaky hands, and breathless, I plucked out pots and pans from their shelf in the little cupboard in the corner of the kitchen counters. There they were. Bottles of red wine and strong liquor like vodka and gin. I shook my head to myself as I wondered how she had gotten hold of all of those things and why there was so much of it.

* * *

Naomi

My head pounded so hard that it felt as if my heart had relocated itself into my head. I wasn't sure if I was feeling anything or if it was just my imagination. Even if I felt something it definitely felt as if it was very far away from me. I yawned as my arms cut through the air as a natural reflect. I placed my fists against my eyes to give them a light rub before I opened them slowly.

I almost drifted back to sleep when a shadow of a human appeared in front of me. With a cramped squeak I sat up in the bed. The room slowly floated into focus and my eyes could focus on the person in front of me.

My eyes widened with fear as I saw Emily in front of me. Her tears streamed down her face as she looked at me with terror in her eyes. The more I looked at her- the more terrified I got myself. She was sad. No, she was more than sad. She was hurt. I shook my head in panic as I felt tears making themselves ready behind my eyes. I had succeeded, I had hurt her. The one thing that I didn't want to happen for as long as I lived had happened, and I didn't even know how.

I managed to press out "What's wrong?"

"Please explain to me. Why, why won't you talk to me?" Emily cried out as she turned around and held out her arm towards the open cupboard and the open refrigerator, revealing the big mistake I had made. The bottles from the cupboard stood in a mess out on the floor and the refrigerators content were spread out onto the table while some bottles and beers still remained inside. It was obvious that Emily had been going through the bottles.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I felt how the tears began to roll slowly down my cheeks.

I couldn't see Emily, but I heard her. "You know what hurts the most? It's that you won't even talk to me and tell me why. You didn't even tell me what bothered you in the first place... It hurts so bad to see you destroying yourself and turning to drinking instead of turning to me. I'm here for you but you don't see me." I heard her cry out. It hurt so badly. It hurt me to see and hear how hurt she was. I never wanted her to feel hurt. That was why I didn't tell her in the first place.

I waited, expecting to hear a door slam shut. It wouldn't have surprised me if she left the flat. In fact, I would totally understand. But I heard nothing, just Emily silent sobbing.

I realized that I only hurt her more by staying silent. So I opened my eyes to look at her.

"I never wanted to hurt you… I wanted to protect you from me, which is why I did… what I did." I said between light sobs. Emily shook her head and pressed down one eyebrow in confusion.

"I'm just so scared that you are going to leave me." I sobbed out.

I looked at her through tear-filled eyes to meet her, just as tear-filled, eyes. She shook her head again and leaned forward to crawl up to me. I felt how she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tight. She put her hand behind my head and I leaned onto her chest. The sudden closeness broke me up even more, tears rolling down faster, speeding down along my jaw to drop from my chin onto Emily's chest.

"I'm never going to leave you." She whispered with her voice cracked from crying.

"But you are going to leave me. You are going to America and… what if you find someone else? Someone better than me…" I stuttered out into Emily's chest.

"Is that why you have been drinking?" Emily asked with a sudden harshness to her voice.

If she only knew I had done it to save her from me. I wanted her to go but I was so afraid that she wasn't going to if I showed how scared I was about being left alone without her. That was why I had been drinking, to make my fears go away so that I could be happy for her.

I pulled away from her and looked her in her red eyes. "I was so afraid that you wouldn't go if you knew how much I didn't want you to leave me… The alcohol made my worries go away… for a while." I whispered out as I reached out to stroke her cheek. Emily met my hand with hers and led it back between us.

She squeezed my hand and looked me in my eyes. "I promise that you won't lose me. Please promise that you will quit drinking. I can't stand it. Talk to me instead."

I nodded slowly and let go of her hand to wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her neck. "What if you find someone better?" I cry out into her neck.

"No one is better than you." She tried to reassure me and squeezed me tight. But I couldn't help feeling scared. But I had promised myself that no matter what, I was going to bare it. I didn't want to hurt her any more. I had to try and trust her.

She pulled away and placed her hands on my shoulders to make me meet her gaze. Her eyes were no longer as red as before and her expression was filled with concern and determination.

"You know I love you and nothing will ever tear us apart. Trust me."

She reassured me and she tried to give me some sort of comfort. She told me that she wasn't going to leave me, that I was the only one for her. She looked at me with a concerned expression and her lips pressed together, waiting to see my reaction. She wanted me to feel safe with the fact that she loved me so I nodded and kissed her pursed lips. But inside I shook my head and cried like a baby. My whole body trembled as I concentrated on my limbs to prevent them from grabbing Emily and holding her tight and never letting her go.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm getting a bit emotional here…


	15. Chapter 15 - The world outside

**Chapter Fifteen**

Naomi

It was hard, extremely hard, to not turn back to drinking. I hadn't become addicted, not after just a week. But sometimes it sure felt like it. Every now and then the fear of becoming abandoned swelled up inside of me. Often, but not always, Emily noticed my mood and squeezed my hand to comfort me. I tried to swallow my fear, for her sake. I wanted her to chase her dreams and I wanted to trust that she wasn't going to leave me…

"Naomi?" I heard Emily's voice seep through my thoughts.

I turned towards her and waited for my eyes to refocus. Everything had been so blurry ever since that morning Emily confronted me… After a few seconds I saw Emily's worried face. I offered her a faint smile and squeezed her hand. I watched her as she turned her face back towards the sunbathing street in front of us. Every sound around me, the people talking, the cars driving, the waves, everything, felt so far away. Like if everything was happening somewhere else, not around me. Just as if I was asleep.

We walked back towards the flat. My stomach groaned after too much coffee and ice cream. The coffee I had gotten served at the café had been scolding hot and it had burned my taste buds so badly that I no longer felt my own tongue.

I stood behind Emily as she opened the door leading to the flat. The panic began to rise in me again as she opened the door. That was it. That was the end of everything. I pressed my eyes closed and took a deep breath. As I stood in complete darkness I felt a hand take my hand and give it a light squeeze.

"It's going to be okay. I promise." Emily's soft voice calmed me down slightly, but not enough to make me open my eyes.

Suddenly I felt my whole body getting squashed in a tight embrace. I opened my eyes to look down at Emily's read head pressed against my chest. I pulled my arms free and wrapped them around her. I felt how she shook her head in my hug. I leaned forward and placed my chin on her head and closed my eyes one more time as I felt the tears streaming down my face.

When I opened my eyes again I found myself staring right into the flat. I saw the edge of the bed, and on top of it I saw a suitcase. I took a deep breath as I it dawned on me. She was on her way back home. And tomorrow Emily will be far away from me. I wondered if it was right of me to stay. But I wasn't sure if it was going to be better for me to follow her back. I was going to stay a few more days.

I felt with fear how Emily's grip around me loosened as she backed away from me. I forced my tears to stop by closing my eyes again. Emily's soft fingertips wiped my cheeks and her touch burned my skin.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I saw her disappear behind everybody that wandered around the airport. I put on a smile for Emily, but only for her. It was hard and painful but I had to do it. Even if it hurt I knew I had to be happy for Emily. And from time to time she looked at me with a worried face and I knew it was out of guilt. But I didn't want her to see my devastation so I smiled at her and, very affectionate, touched her shoulder. When we stood by the escalators that led up to the security checks I knew she had to leave me.

"I love you." Emily gave me a tight hug.

"Love you too." The words got a bit choked from holding back my tears, but I covered it with a smile.

A kiss, the last one for what felt like forever, her soft lips and warm skin, the taste of her, the very last kiss.

* * *

Emily

I sat on the blue chairs, waiting for my plane back to England. I was just going home to pack up and pack down. My plane to America was going to leave the next day. Something inside me told me that I couldn't leave Naomi in the state she was in. I thought about what to do, about my options. Then I remembered Simon. He had been so nice to me and Naomi throughout our whole trip. If someone could take care of Naomi it was going to be him. And To be honest, I needed someone to talk to. The guilt had filled me up to the brim at that point…

"Hi Simon…" I said even before he answered.

"Oh, Emily?" He replied after a few seconds delay.

"Yeah…"

"What? How is it going with Naomi?" His voice sincerely concerned.

"She has been drinking… a lot. I'm leaving, and I feel so guilty… Please talk to her…" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"What?! Emily you can't… Okay I shall." And then he hung up on me.

I was left with my phone pressed against my ear, but with no one on the other end. Maybe he had been right. I couldn't leave. Naomi needed me. I had been selfish and Naomi had struggled so hard to not hinder me. She didn't want me to go… But she had said that she wanted me to go and that was why she had struggled. She was obviously torn apart. I pressed my eyelids down even harder to close the world outside away from me. I heard a child crying, a couple discuss gates behind me, a woman complaining on her late flight, the heels of the flight attendants shoes clicking against the floor. And behind all of the distinct sounds I heard low murmurs from other, stressed, calm and everything in-between, people. What was I going to do?


	16. Chapter 16 - Something worth fighting fo

**Chapter Sixteen**

Naomi

Crying, it's so pathetic. I put myself in that position. And I cried about it. My hand gripped for the quilt on the empty bed beside me. I soaked my pillow and I felt the emptiness fill me up from inside. The deep dark hole grew and swallowed me, sucking me into loneliness. I hadn't even been alone for one hour and I still missed Emily so bad. When she walked out of the flat it felt like a slice of me disappeared. She had asked me if I wanted to follow her to the airport. I wanted to, but I was scared that if I did I wouldn't have been able to get back to the flat.

_Better being left alone, than going back to loneliness_

_That way you don't have a choice…_

First I heard it. Then I reacted. The front door to the flat slammed open with a big bang when the handle bounced against the wall. I flew up from the bed, standing turned towards the entrance. And I saw how Simon ran into the flat with fear in his eyes and he was biting on his lip. I suspected that it was from anxiousness.

"Simon?" I asked with a small voice, still harsh do to my crying.

"Oh thank god you are here!" He exclaimed as he bent forward and placed his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

"You ran here?"

"I talked to Emily…" He looked up into my eyes.

"So?"

"I was afraid that you might have run away again… I know you miss her. Why did you let her go?" He walked up to me and I felt how all the air inside me left as I sank down on top of the bed. Simon sat himself beside me and looked at me.

I looked down on my palms feeling powerless. "I don't know. I want her to study, she is going to USA… Why do you even care?" I asked and looked at him.

"Because I know you love her. You need her, and she needs you. She feels guilty for leaving and you feel guilty for not wanting her to leave. You can't have it like that."

What was he? A saint? A god? What would I know? He talked as if he knew us, as if he had always known us. I wanted to know what was going on inside Simon's head. Why did he even spend time being concerned about us? It was weird, but what he said was so true. I needed Emily. I didn't know about her, but I knew I needed her. I needed to know that she was mine, and that she was going to be mine for the rest of my life. I didn't want to live without her.

Suddenly I knew exactly what I needed, and what I wanted, to do. I looked at my phones digital clock before I bounced off the bed.

"Where are you going Naomi?" Simon asked, standing up too.

"I need her." I said and opened my arms to embrace Simon. "Thank you." I whispered into his ear. I let go of him and walked with quick steps towards the door.

"You are welcome. And Naomi…"

I stopped and looked over my shoulder at him.

"Don't drink." He said and offered me a smile.

I smiled back before I turned away and ran out the flat. In my head one thought was pounding. _'Am I going to be too late?'_

* * *

Emily

"Hello passengers. We are now ready to board the plane towards England, London. Please have your boarding card ready." A woman announced in the speakers.

I sighed and looked down at my boarding card. Seat 07D. I held the card in a convulsively grip. The only thing I could think of was Naomi. But Simon had promised to talk to her and hopefully keep her away from drinking. I didn't want to leave. But Naomi would have blamed herself if I hadn't. I rose from my seat and swung my handbag over my shoulder to join the long queue of passengers pushing their way towards the boarding card control. Why did everybody have to be in such a rush? Everybody will end up inside the plane anyways.

The queue shrunk and there were no more than fifteen people left. I began to hear a steady knocking on glass. I didn't pay it that much attention until I heard my name getting shouted behind a glass wall. I turned around and behind the glass wall, that separated the gates and the terminal, I saw Naomi. My heart stopped. Why? I glanced at the plane outside the building but just one quick glance. I already knew what my decision would be. I ran towards Naomi and placed my hand on the wall that separated us. She mimed something that wasn't understandable, her eyes begged. I felt the wall move under my hand when Naomi pressed her fist against my hand on the other side of the glass.

She held something between her thumb and her index finger. She tilted her hand so that the object was now fully visible for me. I saw it and my jaw dropped. It was a ring, a silver one with one small rhinestone in the middle. I recognized it, it was Naomi's. She had gotten it from her mum and never used it. When I had asked why she had answered that she didn't want to because it was too precious to her. But she had it with her all the time, well almost all the time.

I ran as fast as I could back, past all the shops and the gates and through the controls, to Naomi. When I came closer to her she held out her arms and I ran straight into her warm embrace.

"I love you. Will you marry me?" She whispered in my ear.

I began to cry, out of joy. "Why?" I asked and looked into her eyes.

"I love you and I don't ever want to leave you. I want to be sure that you will be a part of me forever." Her voice was low and I heard how she was on the edge of crying.

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to marry her so bad. That was all I ever wanted. But I knew Naomi wasn't as positive towards marriage as I was. I was afraid that she only did it because of what we had been through, just as reassurance. "You don't have to marry me to be sure. I will be by you side forever." I answered with a tear filled voice.

* * *

Naomi

_"Do you want to get married some day?"_

I remembered how I had thought, that I wanted to get married some day, when Emily had asked me that question that time at the café after mum called and told me that she was going to marry Kieran. I said: probably not. But I had really thought that I wanted to get married to the one person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the one that I missed every single minute we were apart, the one I hated to see sad, the one I loved even more than I loved myself.

Suddenly it all went clear in my head. There, when Simon had reminded me of how much I loved and needed Emily, it all went clear. I wanted to know that I was going to be attached to her forever, something that would hold as together even if we were apart. To make her mine and be sure that she was more than just a part of me. I wanted to marry her!

"You don't have to marry me to be sure. I will be by you side forever."

It felt as if Emily didn't believe that I was ready to commit. I knew that we had been through a lot and that it hadn't been all sugar and clouds. But I knew that we could pull through and I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

The ring in my hand felt heavy. I had never used it and now I wanted Emily to wear it, if not a sign on engagement, at least as a sign on commitment.

"I'm not doing it just because of that. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You make me whole and when you're not by my side I feel empty. You mean the world to me." I said with as much determination I could muster. I wanted Emily to feel every word, because I meant what I said.

"I love you too, in case you forgot. And I will always be by your side." She gave me a smile behind her tears and I let go of her and took her hand.

The ring symbolized my love and I wanted her to think of me and have a piece of me with her when she went to America. The kiss, the warm kiss, her hands pressing me closer to her and my own hands cupping her face, it was amazing.

I heard how a plane took off and a chill traveled along my spine. She missed her plane. I prepared myself to let go of her. But instead of letting me go, Emily took a firmer grip around me, deepening the kiss. My heart burst inside me and fireworks exploded in my body.

_If something is worth having, it is worth fighting for. For me Emily is that something and she will always be. _

* * *

**A/N: **Now I am finally done with this story. I put it on ice for a long time. I know it could have gone on for forever but I wanted it to end. I know I rushed the end a bit. But I must admit that it feels a bit sad to know that this was the very last chapter of this sequel. But I have evolved as a writer and now I can finally focus on the new Naomily storyline that I have begun.

I recently read both stories. Reading my two first stories was definitely interesting because I can see my progress in finding both the characters and my way of writing. I still have a lot to learn and I hope that you still will follow me as I explore more of this fanfiction world and my favorite characters. Love you loads!


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